“I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.”
Rebecca West
Abortion is always a contentious issue - everyone has an opinion - even when they say they don't. In some places, like America, it's an even more heated debate, and one for which each of us should reach our own personal decision. It is also one on which many people, myself included, are very passionate.
Bottom line is that while I, personally, could (probably) never have an abortion because it goes against my personal beliefs, I will always be pro choice because I believe that the right to a legal, medical abortion is a necessity in any civilized society that gives half a damn about the health, mental and physical, of women and children.
Banning abortion does not stop people from wanting terminations, it simply sends them to back street abortionists and underground clinics where they don't get the care or treatment they need. Banning abortion simply results in an increase in unnecessary deaths and injuries from illegal abortions and an increase in unwanted pregnancies and abandoned babies. It also has a negative effect on prenatal health, infant mortality, and maternal health - and on the physical and emotional health of the unwilling mothers who feel coerced into having a child they cannot cope with or do not want.
Pregnancy and childbirth is the leading cause of death, worldwide, for young women, so why add to that number by denying them access to safe, clinical, medical terminations?
Thanks to certain factions it's immensely complicated in America as it varies by state. And freedom of speech means that we have to allow people to give voice to their opinion even when we disagree with them - I may completely disagree with your point of view but I will defend your right to say it - even when it sucks! Which also means I have a right to say that I think legal abortion is a necessary thing. Deal.
Free speech against abortion - ok
Protesting against those who perform or permit abortion - ok
Lying to vulnerable women to persuade them to carry a pregnancy to term - not ok
Killing doctors who perform medically safe abortions - not ok
Bombing clinics and/or harassing staff - not ok
The specifics that got me so irritated the last few days? How is it fair or just or moral to tell someone who was raped, or the victim of incest, that they cannot terminate? How can forcing them to carry their pregnancy to term somehow "empower them" and help them recover from the trauma that they have been through? Especially when that person was raped by their stepfather - someone they should have been able to trust? And especially when that victim is only ten years old? HOW can forcing a child to carry a baby to term ever be considered "The right thing to do" ?
http://www.feministing.com/archives/020866.html
Whatever happens as a result of the alleged incest and rape charges against her stepfather, the girl is past the point at which she is permitted a legal abortion anyway. She has to carry to term - gods willing, and may the Goddess protect her - she needs it. She is TEN for crying out loud. No ten year old should be becoming a mother for any reason, least of all this one. And it's not as if she's an isolated victim. It happens all too often across the world.
I don't promise coherence, but I stand by what I believe, and I believe that for many different reasons, legal, medical abortion should be an option. For ten year olds who shouldn't be pregnant in the first place by whatever means, for rape victims, for those who consider it their best, or only, option, for teenage girls who made a mistake.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Domestic violence
So recently it was International Women's Day, and in light of that I have a question for all Calgarians. Ok, for everyone out there, but specifically for Calgarians.
How many abused women and victims of domestic violence did you speak to on that day? Now how many of you answered "None." ? Chances are you did talk to at least one, you just didn't know it. Domestic violence is one of the most silent epidemics in the province.
While not all victims of domestic violence are women, the vast majority are and they could be anyone. It could happen to your sister, your neighbour, the girl you work with or that quiet woman you saw on the bus. It is no respecter of race, class, colour, creed or income.
Alberta has the highest provincial rate of domestic violence in Canada. According to the Alberta Council of Women's Shelters, last fiscal year they took on 6,156 women and 5,285 children to their 42 shelters - women and children who were in imminent danger of further assault or even homicide. They also had to turn away another 10,364 women and 6,747 children for a lack of space and/or funding.
Because of the silence that surrounds domestic violence and the fear of it's victims, few realize that there is even a problem until desperation drives a woman to seek help from somewhere such as the ACWS. Last fiscal year they fielded 35,000 calls to their crisis lines. The silence of those around who pretend not to see or don't want to see is the abuser's biggest safety net. It's long past time we ended that silence and held them accountable.
How many victims of domestic violence did I speak to on that day? On that one day I spoke to my step sister, a survivor of domestic abuse, and to my best friend, another survivor. If she were still alive I would have spoken to my mother since she was another victim, one who the laws where she lived could not protect. Online I spoke to more who are survivors. It's happened to my family, to people I know, chances are it has happened and is happening now, to people you know too.
So, let me ask you again - On International Women's Day, on any particular day, how many victims of Domestic Violence did you speak to? Probably more than you think. Time to break the silence.
How many abused women and victims of domestic violence did you speak to on that day? Now how many of you answered "None." ? Chances are you did talk to at least one, you just didn't know it. Domestic violence is one of the most silent epidemics in the province.
While not all victims of domestic violence are women, the vast majority are and they could be anyone. It could happen to your sister, your neighbour, the girl you work with or that quiet woman you saw on the bus. It is no respecter of race, class, colour, creed or income.
Alberta has the highest provincial rate of domestic violence in Canada. According to the Alberta Council of Women's Shelters, last fiscal year they took on 6,156 women and 5,285 children to their 42 shelters - women and children who were in imminent danger of further assault or even homicide. They also had to turn away another 10,364 women and 6,747 children for a lack of space and/or funding.
Because of the silence that surrounds domestic violence and the fear of it's victims, few realize that there is even a problem until desperation drives a woman to seek help from somewhere such as the ACWS. Last fiscal year they fielded 35,000 calls to their crisis lines. The silence of those around who pretend not to see or don't want to see is the abuser's biggest safety net. It's long past time we ended that silence and held them accountable.
How many victims of domestic violence did I speak to on that day? On that one day I spoke to my step sister, a survivor of domestic abuse, and to my best friend, another survivor. If she were still alive I would have spoken to my mother since she was another victim, one who the laws where she lived could not protect. Online I spoke to more who are survivors. It's happened to my family, to people I know, chances are it has happened and is happening now, to people you know too.
So, let me ask you again - On International Women's Day, on any particular day, how many victims of Domestic Violence did you speak to? Probably more than you think. Time to break the silence.
People......
So in what seems to be a run of 'issues' in America, the mayor of Chicago is so concerned about the crime rate in his city that he is asking why he can't have the National guard, who have been fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan and effectively restoring law and order there, come and help out his police force in their home state. Good question.
And in an issue that spans country borders, in America a man who was wounded defending a woman from an assailant dies from his wounds as passers by ignore - or worse - watch him.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36788569/ns/us_news-life/
While in Canada a man is stabbed and nobody helps him.
http://www.torontosun.com/news/torontoandgta/2010/04/24/13708516.html
Some things are apparently the same no matter where you are, says me, who lives right in the sector of the city where last week three men in a car assaulted and robbed a pedestrian at knife point, and then assaulted and robbed, or attempted to rob more pedestrians including 10 and 12 year old children. Fortunately no-one was hurt and police apprehended three suspects in a car that was found to contain a knife. Still, the world definitely isn't becoming a better place to live right now.
And in an issue that spans country borders, in America a man who was wounded defending a woman from an assailant dies from his wounds as passers by ignore - or worse - watch him.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36788569/ns/us_news-life/
While in Canada a man is stabbed and nobody helps him.
http://www.torontosun.com/news/torontoandgta/2010/04/24/13708516.html
Some things are apparently the same no matter where you are, says me, who lives right in the sector of the city where last week three men in a car assaulted and robbed a pedestrian at knife point, and then assaulted and robbed, or attempted to rob more pedestrians including 10 and 12 year old children. Fortunately no-one was hurt and police apprehended three suspects in a car that was found to contain a knife. Still, the world definitely isn't becoming a better place to live right now.
Women's rights, human rights.
So I wrote about this once before http://purplerahk.blogspot.com/2007/11/zip-code-of-death.html but it seems that things aren't changing nearly enough - parts of Memphis, TN, still have one of the highest infant mortality rates going.
http://blackgirlthinking.wordpress.com/2010/03/02/memphis-tn-highest-infant-mortality-rate-in-the-nation/
Then again, when you consider this
http://womensrights.change.org/blog/view/black_women_three_times_more_likely_to_die_in_childbirth
it shouldn't be that surprising. And no it's not because, as one commentator said, they live in third world undeveloped countries - we're talking women in America. There shouldn't be such a disparity based on where you live or what colour your skin is. In this day and age we should be doing anything and everything we can to reduce the rate of infant mortality or death in childbirth in every country - especially those in the so called civilized western world.
So currently worldwide maternal and child health is under discussion at the G8 talks in Halifax.
http://www.metronews.ca/calgary/canada/article/512765--maternal-child-health-in-poor-countries-leads-g8-talks-in-halifax
Whatever the answer is, something definitely needs to be done to secure the health of mothers and infants worldwide.
http://www.vancouversun.com/gives+thumbs+Harper+maternal+health+project/2962545/story.html
You know what though? Talking and agreeing is wonderful - what would be even better - stop talking and start doing. Seriously, we all know there's a problem, and now you all agreed you need to do something about it - so enough with reports and talking, let's start doing. Any improvement would be a good thing.
One statistic that stuck in my mind is that pregnancy and birth related problems are the leading cause of death among girls 15-19 - worldwide. Not least because so many girls across the world are forced, coerced, persuaded or drawn into marriage, and therefore inevitably childbearing, at very young ages for a variety of reasons.
Which leads to this
http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/preteen-girl-wins-divorce-from-80-year-old-husband/
and she's one of the lucky ones. She found a way out. Many others aren't nearly so lucky.
http://womensrights.change.org/blog/view/top_ten_ways_to_make_a_difference
"When we are free, we speak the unspeakable and think the unthinkable." Starhawk - Truth or Dare.
http://blackgirlthinking.wordpress.com/2010/03/02/memphis-tn-highest-infant-mortality-rate-in-the-nation/
Then again, when you consider this
http://womensrights.change.org/blog/view/black_women_three_times_more_likely_to_die_in_childbirth
it shouldn't be that surprising. And no it's not because, as one commentator said, they live in third world undeveloped countries - we're talking women in America. There shouldn't be such a disparity based on where you live or what colour your skin is. In this day and age we should be doing anything and everything we can to reduce the rate of infant mortality or death in childbirth in every country - especially those in the so called civilized western world.
So currently worldwide maternal and child health is under discussion at the G8 talks in Halifax.
http://www.metronews.ca/calgary/canada/article/512765--maternal-child-health-in-poor-countries-leads-g8-talks-in-halifax
Whatever the answer is, something definitely needs to be done to secure the health of mothers and infants worldwide.
http://www.vancouversun.com/gives+thumbs+Harper+maternal+health+project/2962545/story.html
You know what though? Talking and agreeing is wonderful - what would be even better - stop talking and start doing. Seriously, we all know there's a problem, and now you all agreed you need to do something about it - so enough with reports and talking, let's start doing. Any improvement would be a good thing.
One statistic that stuck in my mind is that pregnancy and birth related problems are the leading cause of death among girls 15-19 - worldwide. Not least because so many girls across the world are forced, coerced, persuaded or drawn into marriage, and therefore inevitably childbearing, at very young ages for a variety of reasons.
Which leads to this
http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/preteen-girl-wins-divorce-from-80-year-old-husband/
and she's one of the lucky ones. She found a way out. Many others aren't nearly so lucky.
http://womensrights.change.org/blog/view/top_ten_ways_to_make_a_difference
"When we are free, we speak the unspeakable and think the unthinkable." Starhawk - Truth or Dare.
Arizona - immigration
So Arizona has a new immigration law - not going to get started in the immigration debate just watching the knock effect from it. Right or wrong, the law has already had an effect above and beyond sparking debate nationwide on the topic of immigration.
Mexico has issued a travel advisory, advising its citizens against travelling to Arizona - how's that for ironic??
Many Mexican parents - legal and illegal - have been trying to push through the paperwork that will give their US born, legally American citizen, children dual American-Mexican citizenship so that if they, or family members, or siblings, are deported then the whole family can return to Mexico - and the LEGAL AMERICAN BORN members of the family can live there too so that the family doesn't end up separated and living in different countries.
And I thought the law wasn't actually in effect/being used yet but apparently it is...
http://guanabee.com/2010/04/american-truck-driver-illegal-alien-arizona-sb1070/
shame the first publicized test of it was on an American born citizen.
Talking of fallout, some speaks for itself.
http://iowaindependent.com/32926/install-microchips-in-illegal-immigrants-gop-candidate-says
Mexico has issued a travel advisory, advising its citizens against travelling to Arizona - how's that for ironic??
Many Mexican parents - legal and illegal - have been trying to push through the paperwork that will give their US born, legally American citizen, children dual American-Mexican citizenship so that if they, or family members, or siblings, are deported then the whole family can return to Mexico - and the LEGAL AMERICAN BORN members of the family can live there too so that the family doesn't end up separated and living in different countries.
And I thought the law wasn't actually in effect/being used yet but apparently it is...
http://guanabee.com/2010/04/american-truck-driver-illegal-alien-arizona-sb1070/
shame the first publicized test of it was on an American born citizen.
Talking of fallout, some speaks for itself.
http://iowaindependent.com/32926/install-microchips-in-illegal-immigrants-gop-candidate-says
Monday, April 26, 2010
Afghan schoolgirls
http://english.aljazeera.net/news/asia/2010/04/201042663711279658.html
No, I don't know for sure what happened but why wouldn't it surprise me if certain people were trying to stop girls getting an education, to stop women from climbing out from beneath their male 'protectors' and claiming something resembling equality? IF, and it's a big if, though it's not the first instance of poisoning happening to girls in school in Afghanistan, that is what happening then it seems to me that someone (using the term loosely) is running scared, afraid of the idea of women gaining control of their own lives and destinies. Seems like IF it is the case them someone is tying to keep women in their place.
"Attacks on girls schools have increased in the past year, particularly in the east and south of the country. Last year a group of schoolgirls in Kandahar had acid thrown in their faces by men who objected to them attending school. "
http://www.welt.de/english-news/article3717796/Afghan-girls-poisoned-at-school.html
http://www.rferl.org/content/Illnesses_At_Afghan_Girls_Schools_Prompt_Poisoning_Fears/2024984.html
This was a year ago.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE54A1IR20090512
given what they go through to go to school, and that as recently as 2001 it was forbidden, one has to wonder. And, those of us who took going to school and getting an education as an often dull and annoying right, have to consider ourselves lucky to have been able to do so and be bored with it.
This is the same climate that allowed this to happen
http://purplerahk.blogspot.com/2007/11/english-can-get-you-killed.html
and in all cases, no-one was doing anything other than trying to get an education and improve the lives of themselves, their families and those around them. Something most of us would consider a worthy goal.
No, I don't know for sure what happened but why wouldn't it surprise me if certain people were trying to stop girls getting an education, to stop women from climbing out from beneath their male 'protectors' and claiming something resembling equality? IF, and it's a big if, though it's not the first instance of poisoning happening to girls in school in Afghanistan, that is what happening then it seems to me that someone (using the term loosely) is running scared, afraid of the idea of women gaining control of their own lives and destinies. Seems like IF it is the case them someone is tying to keep women in their place.
"Attacks on girls schools have increased in the past year, particularly in the east and south of the country. Last year a group of schoolgirls in Kandahar had acid thrown in their faces by men who objected to them attending school. "
http://www.welt.de/english-news/article3717796/Afghan-girls-poisoned-at-school.html
http://www.rferl.org/content/Illnesses_At_Afghan_Girls_Schools_Prompt_Poisoning_Fears/2024984.html
This was a year ago.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE54A1IR20090512
given what they go through to go to school, and that as recently as 2001 it was forbidden, one has to wonder. And, those of us who took going to school and getting an education as an often dull and annoying right, have to consider ourselves lucky to have been able to do so and be bored with it.
This is the same climate that allowed this to happen
http://purplerahk.blogspot.com/2007/11/english-can-get-you-killed.html
and in all cases, no-one was doing anything other than trying to get an education and improve the lives of themselves, their families and those around them. Something most of us would consider a worthy goal.
Earthquakes
I cannot be the only person keeping an eye on the number of earthquakes that have already taken place this year - in fact I know I'm not since when it has come up among friends they too admit to having noticed even if they paid no more than passing attention to it.
However for those who like to keep track of such things, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_earthquakes , although be warned it is not a complete list - just a very good one.
And there's a reason for adding this brief post that will eventually become clear, should anyone care.
However for those who like to keep track of such things, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_earthquakes , although be warned it is not a complete list - just a very good one.
And there's a reason for adding this brief post that will eventually become clear, should anyone care.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Me
Now there's a reason for my ongoing comments about sisters but first I should point out that to begin with there'll probably be a lot of postings as I catch up with posting stuff that has been sat around waiting to be posted. Eventually I'll run out and things will slow to an inconsistent trickle - much to the relief of anyone who accidentally falls into here since I don't expect anyone to notice that this is even up and running again. But it was a necessary thing.
So, sisters is part of a theme that has been playing through my head and running into my life with increasing frequency over the last few months, namely that of women's issues for want of a better phrase right now. I've always been what people would probably call a feminist, amongst other things. It's just a part of who and what I am in the same way that being a witch is - and yes, if you just joined us I'm a witch and a Pagan and quite happily so thank you. Have been for something like 17 years now give or take - kinda scary when I think about that, almost makes me feel old. Mind you, if I think about the fact that my eldest daughter turns 19 tomorrow then I really feel old lol
Anyway, I'm a feminist, I'm a witch, and a few other things too, none of them are something I do, they're just part of who i am.
As Matrinka once said (in words that probably haunt her since i use them a lot) "I'm a witch and a medicine woman, It's not something I do, it's just a part of who and what I am."
A long time ago, back when I almost ended up in politics (and that's a whole other story and a whole other lifetime ago) I was pretty outspoken about what I thought was right, and wrong, Then I got jaded and burnt by trying to change a flawed, and patriarchal - really patriarchal and conservative back where i used to live in that other lifetime - and life changed vastly and got very busy in the way that happens when you have a small child. So many things took a backseat, not because i no longer cared, simply because I had neither the time nor the energy to devote to them.
Then about a year ago now, things started coming to my notice, articles, news reports, books, people.... that rekindled the spark that had been sleeping and in the way of these things synchronicities started occurring ever more frequently until finally i got the message - time to poke your head back out again. Sometimes My Lady can be persistent when She wants me to pay attention. Will anyone listen tome? Does anyone care? Who knows, all I know is that I will do and say what I consider I need to, or what needs to be said, and whatever happens as a result of that, happens.
I've always been that way though. I'm pretty easy going, but every so often someone or something crosses that proverbial invisible line in the sand and brings out the bear in me. Happened many, many years ago with some people from Courage, and lend to doing things that I never thought I'd do, and having unexpected people come up and say they were glad I'd said what I'd said. (Back to the politics story) It's happened many times over the years, and as far as I'm concerned each time it was something that needed doing or saying, and if no one else would do or say then I was going. Each time if it made a difference somewhere, somehow, to one person that made it worth doing. Either way, sometimes things just need to be said and done even if people in general don't want to hear them.
So, to get kind of back on point, sisters, are a recurring theme lately, not just real sisters - blood or choice - but because at the most basic level, all women are sisters. What affects one of us affects all of us. See? Back to the feminism thing lol
So, sisters is part of a theme that has been playing through my head and running into my life with increasing frequency over the last few months, namely that of women's issues for want of a better phrase right now. I've always been what people would probably call a feminist, amongst other things. It's just a part of who and what I am in the same way that being a witch is - and yes, if you just joined us I'm a witch and a Pagan and quite happily so thank you. Have been for something like 17 years now give or take - kinda scary when I think about that, almost makes me feel old. Mind you, if I think about the fact that my eldest daughter turns 19 tomorrow then I really feel old lol
Anyway, I'm a feminist, I'm a witch, and a few other things too, none of them are something I do, they're just part of who i am.
As Matrinka once said (in words that probably haunt her since i use them a lot) "I'm a witch and a medicine woman, It's not something I do, it's just a part of who and what I am."
A long time ago, back when I almost ended up in politics (and that's a whole other story and a whole other lifetime ago) I was pretty outspoken about what I thought was right, and wrong, Then I got jaded and burnt by trying to change a flawed, and patriarchal - really patriarchal and conservative back where i used to live in that other lifetime - and life changed vastly and got very busy in the way that happens when you have a small child. So many things took a backseat, not because i no longer cared, simply because I had neither the time nor the energy to devote to them.
Then about a year ago now, things started coming to my notice, articles, news reports, books, people.... that rekindled the spark that had been sleeping and in the way of these things synchronicities started occurring ever more frequently until finally i got the message - time to poke your head back out again. Sometimes My Lady can be persistent when She wants me to pay attention. Will anyone listen tome? Does anyone care? Who knows, all I know is that I will do and say what I consider I need to, or what needs to be said, and whatever happens as a result of that, happens.
I've always been that way though. I'm pretty easy going, but every so often someone or something crosses that proverbial invisible line in the sand and brings out the bear in me. Happened many, many years ago with some people from Courage, and lend to doing things that I never thought I'd do, and having unexpected people come up and say they were glad I'd said what I'd said. (Back to the politics story) It's happened many times over the years, and as far as I'm concerned each time it was something that needed doing or saying, and if no one else would do or say then I was going. Each time if it made a difference somewhere, somehow, to one person that made it worth doing. Either way, sometimes things just need to be said and done even if people in general don't want to hear them.
So, to get kind of back on point, sisters, are a recurring theme lately, not just real sisters - blood or choice - but because at the most basic level, all women are sisters. What affects one of us affects all of us. See? Back to the feminism thing lol
Sisters
1. a female offspring having both parents in common with another offspring; female sibling.
2. Also called half sister. a female offspring having only one parent in common with another offspring.
3. stepsister.
4. a female friend or protector regarded as a sister.
The first four definitions of sister from dictionary.com
Also, –adjective 12. being or considered a sister; related by or as if by sisterhood: sister ships.
Those you consider sister, whether by blood, marriage, accident or simple act of life...
Real sisters, like real family, aren't born, they grow to be by word and deed - they are more than simply a product of blood they are a product of life. And that means, that though I was born a third generation only child, I consider myself blessed by the sisters in my life.
2. Also called half sister. a female offspring having only one parent in common with another offspring.
3. stepsister.
4. a female friend or protector regarded as a sister.
The first four definitions of sister from dictionary.com
Also, –adjective 12. being or considered a sister; related by or as if by sisterhood: sister ships.
Those you consider sister, whether by blood, marriage, accident or simple act of life...
Real sisters, like real family, aren't born, they grow to be by word and deed - they are more than simply a product of blood they are a product of life. And that means, that though I was born a third generation only child, I consider myself blessed by the sisters in my life.
Two years later....
So one of the perils of not blogging for over two years is that you get out of practice, both at writing and at making time to write. Another is, if you're anything like me, you forget your password for logging into you blogger account - especially is technically your computer is smarter than you are and is supposed to remember it for you so you never had to remember it in the first place!
Mind you, it's not as if not posting a blog of any kind means I haven't written anything - sheesh I have a drawer full of notebooks full of everything from essays and opinion pieces to notes, family trees and those dark moments of angst filled emotion we all suffer from time to time to prove it.
Now if I could just wave a magic a wand and get all the ones I want to copy from there to magically appear in typed format on my computer I'd be laughing.
Technically i can write straight on computer, or should that be type straight on computer? But firstly i rarely have enough computer time that I can use for that when I'm not at risk of being interrupted mid sentence every sentence or of disturbing other people who are trying to watch TV or something and would be bothered by the continual typing. So it hasn't happened yet, and, I'm old fashioned, give me open and some paper and the urge to get thoughts onto paper and I can suddenly discover that I just filled a dozen pages without even realizing it!
don't worry I'm not going to bother you with the terrible angst of those occasional dark times, the ones we all go through every now and then. Those I write down because for me it's therapeutic, a way to clear all the junk from the hard drive of my brain if you will, because for me, once it bothers me enough to get it out and down on paper, the very act of doing that is generally enough for me to be able to let go of whatever was bothering me at the time, deal with it, and move on feeling far more peaceful and balanced once again. Then the written pages generally get shredded and trashed having fulfilled their purpose.
And I like being peaceful and balanced.
We do, however, all go through those dark times, mentally and emotionally. It's a part of the roller coaster that is life. Often they are actually a necessary part of it even if at times they drive us to despair and leave us dubious about our sanity. sometimes we later have the time and perspective to look back on the darkness we realize that it was necessary, a turning point or a growth point and that we are actually better, stronger and more balanced for having been through that darkness. Still sucks when you are in the middle of the dark times however.
Sometimes each of us has to hit the bottom in the darkness before we can begin to see the light and climb our way back up again to another new height. Life is rarely even, easy or fair, it just is what it is, and we try to deal with it as best we can, some days we do better some days we don't - we are each only human after all. what matters is not the things that happen to us in life but how we react to and deal with them and how much we keep on going, keep trying, keep doing, and don't give up, even when it's dark. Sometimes we need a helping hand to find the light and begin the climb out of the darkness and that's what friends and true family are for.
Which is kind of where I was going, I just took the long way around, because this is not going to be about those occasional dark times - well, mostly not anyway! As I said, my notebooks contain thoughts on a number of topics, tags really are going to be a wonderful invention although my choice of tag might not always seem obvious to you - the connections in my brain are sometimes a little obscure to some people. They will however hopefully keep roughly related topics connected to each other.
What started me once again thinking about blogging and led to the earlier comments about the dark times was a conversation last night. Anyway.
In the intervening couple of years many things have changed and many haven't. Demonspawn is now just turned four, Demon is still going strong after his heart attack two years ago, and winter here in Calgary is finally coming to an end. Other than that life here pretty much carries as usual in that day to day way life has of doing so.
Some things have changed and one of those is that thanks to facebook I have reconnected with several people that I hadn't spoken to in years. One of them in particular, my other sister. Let me start by explaining that I am an only child but I also believe that 'True family is not only one of blood but one of joy and respect in each others lives.' And in that respect I consider myself blessed to have two that I can call sister - Nuttie, the BC dwelling, sister in law I inherited when I got into a relationship with her brother, Demon, five years ago today.
And Crazy girl, the UK dwelling step sister I lost touch with for more than ten years and rediscovered thanks to the wonders that are facebook (when facebook is not being an ass that is) Technically we aren't related but we share a step father - who said families were easy to understand or explain? lol She is, however, my sister - my crazy witchy fairy queen sister.
And I count myself lucky to have two who i would call sister.
"True sisters measure time not by clock or calendar but by the beat of the heart."
And btw in case you forgot or are new here - my typing sucks. I can spell, but even after all these years I cannot type accurately - fast yes - accurate no!!
Mind you, it's not as if not posting a blog of any kind means I haven't written anything - sheesh I have a drawer full of notebooks full of everything from essays and opinion pieces to notes, family trees and those dark moments of angst filled emotion we all suffer from time to time to prove it.
Now if I could just wave a magic a wand and get all the ones I want to copy from there to magically appear in typed format on my computer I'd be laughing.
Technically i can write straight on computer, or should that be type straight on computer? But firstly i rarely have enough computer time that I can use for that when I'm not at risk of being interrupted mid sentence every sentence or of disturbing other people who are trying to watch TV or something and would be bothered by the continual typing. So it hasn't happened yet, and, I'm old fashioned, give me open and some paper and the urge to get thoughts onto paper and I can suddenly discover that I just filled a dozen pages without even realizing it!
don't worry I'm not going to bother you with the terrible angst of those occasional dark times, the ones we all go through every now and then. Those I write down because for me it's therapeutic, a way to clear all the junk from the hard drive of my brain if you will, because for me, once it bothers me enough to get it out and down on paper, the very act of doing that is generally enough for me to be able to let go of whatever was bothering me at the time, deal with it, and move on feeling far more peaceful and balanced once again. Then the written pages generally get shredded and trashed having fulfilled their purpose.
And I like being peaceful and balanced.
We do, however, all go through those dark times, mentally and emotionally. It's a part of the roller coaster that is life. Often they are actually a necessary part of it even if at times they drive us to despair and leave us dubious about our sanity. sometimes we later have the time and perspective to look back on the darkness we realize that it was necessary, a turning point or a growth point and that we are actually better, stronger and more balanced for having been through that darkness. Still sucks when you are in the middle of the dark times however.
Sometimes each of us has to hit the bottom in the darkness before we can begin to see the light and climb our way back up again to another new height. Life is rarely even, easy or fair, it just is what it is, and we try to deal with it as best we can, some days we do better some days we don't - we are each only human after all. what matters is not the things that happen to us in life but how we react to and deal with them and how much we keep on going, keep trying, keep doing, and don't give up, even when it's dark. Sometimes we need a helping hand to find the light and begin the climb out of the darkness and that's what friends and true family are for.
Which is kind of where I was going, I just took the long way around, because this is not going to be about those occasional dark times - well, mostly not anyway! As I said, my notebooks contain thoughts on a number of topics, tags really are going to be a wonderful invention although my choice of tag might not always seem obvious to you - the connections in my brain are sometimes a little obscure to some people. They will however hopefully keep roughly related topics connected to each other.
What started me once again thinking about blogging and led to the earlier comments about the dark times was a conversation last night. Anyway.
In the intervening couple of years many things have changed and many haven't. Demonspawn is now just turned four, Demon is still going strong after his heart attack two years ago, and winter here in Calgary is finally coming to an end. Other than that life here pretty much carries as usual in that day to day way life has of doing so.
Some things have changed and one of those is that thanks to facebook I have reconnected with several people that I hadn't spoken to in years. One of them in particular, my other sister. Let me start by explaining that I am an only child but I also believe that 'True family is not only one of blood but one of joy and respect in each others lives.' And in that respect I consider myself blessed to have two that I can call sister - Nuttie, the BC dwelling, sister in law I inherited when I got into a relationship with her brother, Demon, five years ago today.
And Crazy girl, the UK dwelling step sister I lost touch with for more than ten years and rediscovered thanks to the wonders that are facebook (when facebook is not being an ass that is) Technically we aren't related but we share a step father - who said families were easy to understand or explain? lol She is, however, my sister - my crazy witchy fairy queen sister.
And I count myself lucky to have two who i would call sister.
"True sisters measure time not by clock or calendar but by the beat of the heart."
And btw in case you forgot or are new here - my typing sucks. I can spell, but even after all these years I cannot type accurately - fast yes - accurate no!!
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