"It's called the Craft of the Wise, not the Craft of the Nice." Brock.

I heard a story from a friend, made me mad, started me thinking, and I had a Budapest moment.

Some days you wouldn't think we were living in the 21st century. For all the advances that society has made, there are still areas that are positively medieval, and we might as well still be living in the dark ages when men thought women weren't just second class citizens, they were chattel there to do whatever a man wanted whenever he wanted. Think that's not true? Well it is, there are still too many men who think they are better appointed with what women want and need than the women themselves do. That includes men who rape women.

Too many men still think women don't have a right to exert control over their own bodies and what happens to them, and that they have a right to do whatever they want to whoever they want. They believe it is their right to rape a women if she doesn't consent to have sex with them whenever and however they demand it, and that it is her fault and she is the one who should feel guilty.

Whether or not force is used, whether or not the woman knows her attacker, if she is forced, coerced or intimidated into something she doesn't want to do, then it's rape. Women feel guilty, as if it's their fault, they did something wrong and brought it on themselves. No they didn't.

The guilty party is the man, plain and simple. He is the one that did something wrong, he's the one that took away the woman's right to control over her own body, he's the one that violated her. And chances are if he does it once, he'll do it again and he's probably done it before.

There's a myth out there about the stranger waiting in the bushes, but you know, most rapes are committed by people known to their victim. Doesn't matter if they're a date or an acquaintance or a boss or a neighbour, it's still rape. All our lives as women we're told to be careful what we wear, where we go, what we do and who we talk to. The implication being that it's our fault if we get raped, men are somehow unable to help themselves or to resist temptation. Please! Are men so unevolved that they can't contain themselves? I don't think so.

There are plenty of men out there who would never dream of violating a woman in that way - the ones who do are simply using excuses to cover over and avoid their own guilt at doing something that is fundamentally wrong - or, they have a psychological issue because they really believe that they are superior and know better than a woman what she wants or that she is only there to satisfy their every desire for power, control and domination. Doesn't help that society still thinks a man is manly for sleeping with many women, while a woman who does the same is slutty. Society needs some serious attitude adjustments.

Women should never feel guilty for being raped, it was not their fault. It was an act of violence committed against them, without their consent, period. Women have a right to say no, to anyone, at any time. Men actually ARE capable of control, those who rape just like to pretend they aren't because then they don't have to take responsibility for what they're doing. Doesn't matter who she is, every woman has the right to refuse sexual acts, period.

Well you know what, those of you who think it's ok to force someone to have sex with you? Get real, get responsible and get a life. We aren't going to let you get away with it anymore. We, as women, are not responsible for the acts of violence committed against us by men, no matter who they are. And make no mistake, rape is an act of violence, power and control that is enacted through sex. It's about time us girls got together and used whatever means we happen to have at our disposal to deal with you.

And btw anyone who rapes a friend of mine better hope like hell I don't get hold of them, no matter who they are. I will use every means at my disposal to make you face up to the consequences of your actions. And I mean EVERY. She did nothing wrong, you are a repeat offender. Yeah I hear things from many sources. May karmic consequence bite your ass - and I might just help it along. Cupcakism is not for witches.