Visitors and the veil

Apparently I'm not the only one thinking that the veil is still thin even though Samhain is past. I mentioned it first several weeks before then, and wasn't alone, and now I'm not alone in that the other side is still restless, talkative - well except Olivia - and more visible than usual. Curiouser and curiouser, said Alice.....

It's actually been pretty quiet around here the last week or so, since Kody moved on. Don't think it was him i caught out of the corner of my eye this morning, which means that yes, it seems I have a new visitor.... kinda feels like being in Piccadilly Station some days ;) Not that I mind, mostly.
Olivia is still here on and off, although she's still not talking, although she seems oddly.... happier. Long story for another day i think. Pretty sure she actually spends much of her time next door, not that she's the only presence there, the other isn't nearly as quiet as she is but he stays there and hasn't come visiting yet. One day soon the neighbours and I will get our act together and try and figure something out with him :/

But I digress, the veil is still thin, they are still restless - I've had way more pop in visitors in the last month than in at least the six months before that. And now apparently another new visitor, life is anything but dull ;)

Backyard Wildlife

So the resident squirrels have been around again today, first Oh Henry and then White Ears .
No sign yet today of the third member of their trio, Bushy Tail but he'll be back sooner or later.
The magpies were around though as were the little sparrows .
And just for completeness, bunny pictures of the bunnies who live by the PLC.

Speaking of animals I shooed a spider outside earlier, no mean feat when you've had arachnaphobia since you hallucinated giant man eating spiders while under in intense fever at the age of 6 lol
Apparently however I am the spider wrangler even though I live in a house where even the dogs are male, testosterone drips from the walls - right up until a spider shows up!

WTF and DV

What is it with the world these days, is human life really that cheap now? Some guy has his throat slashed by three guys so they can steal his skates? Seriously?
Another guy gets shot and killed at work because he allegedly annoyed the wrong person and had a hit called on him?
Another guy gets shot multiple times at home, yet another at work?
A guy gets beaten with a bat by people who burst into his house in the early morning?

I mean, come on.... I know I've said before that the world is going to hell in a hand basket - between weather, earth activity, government, loss of liberty, wars, yadda yadda yadda, but apparently that's not enough, people are queuing up for those hand baskets to hell. Sheesh.

Oh and btw pretty sure I know why three cop cars and an ambulance were outside my place (not AT my place, using the parking lot outside) and it gives me reason to once again mention that Domestic Violence, by anyone, against anyone is NOT acceptable. Period. And every person who knows of, sees or suspects that someone is being abused or abusing someone else, and remains silent is enabling and validating the abuser and doing jackshit for the victim.

Calgary has one of the highest rates of Domestic Violence and abuse in Canada and everyone who stays silent or looks the other way is helping keep that record.

And don't give me crap about not getting involved.... Domestic Violence is not acceptable, Silence is NOT an option. Pet peeve ya know.

RAOK, Christmas and Operation Magic

I've always been a big believer that a little more kindness, compassion and community would be a good thing for this world, not least here in the middle of big ole cowtown. Random Acts Of Kindness, RAOK, can only be a good thing, surely? Anything that brings a smile to someone's face or a moment of joy can only be a good thing, right? Even when the person doing the act receives no tangible reward for doing whatever they did, nor even any acknowledgement if they did it anonymously.

My problem, as ever, is being perpetually broke and so many of the suggested RAOK or those performed by other people are simply out of my reach no matter how much I would love to be able to do them. Now before you say it, I know there are a lot of suggestions out there for things you can do that don't cost anything, yet a number of those are things that I do anyway - smiling and talking to people, holding doors open, sharing cookies with the neighbours - you get the idea.

Luckily with Christmas coming it's a little easier to think outside the box. So since I believe that Christmas is a time for a little magic and love, kindness and compassion, Operation Magic has been born. Last year I carried a handful of signed sealed Christmas cards in my pocket and gave them to people we saw all year, such as the lady in the ice cream store, just because. This year I'm going to expand that to people all over, people in stores, neighbours, including ones I don't, or barely know, the flier guy, and some of the other people who I see all year around. Gonna leave candy canes in neighbour mailboxes, share cookies when I start seriously baking cookies for cookie season - ok I bake cookies all year but not in quantity since someone in this house is diabetic and not SUPPOSED to eat cookies - unfortunately he LIKES cookies lol So the only time I make large batches is Christmas, and why not share?

Christmas cards, cookies, candy canes, messages in the snow - a little experimenting showed a way to colour the snow in much the same way as in the summertime I and the local kids drew pictures all over our sidewalks - nothing exciting or expensive or important, but maybe it'll raise a smile here or there. And that's really what it's all about.

Also going to register a handful of books with Bookcrossing and release them around the area and deliver stuff to the local Salvation army, and anything else I can think of. Suggestions are always welcome.

I wish I could buy coffees and sandwiches or hand out gift cards or whatever, it's just beyond my means, so I'll do the best I can with what little I have to bring a little Christmas magic to my part of Rundle and Sunridge this year.

Merry Christmas Calgary. May there be plenty of RAOKs this year - all year long. Here's to a #BetterYYC #YYC #RAOK

Colour me crazy, as long as that colour is purple.

Random Thoughts For The Day

Still cold, sun is shining, sky is blue, such is Calgary #yyc today. My neighbour just had twin girls a few days ago, three and a half and five pounds, doing good in NICU.

#RAOK - Random Acts Of kindness, something that has been on my mind the last few days, and on other people's too apparently. Share cookies with your neighbours, smile and say Hi to a stranger, buy a coffee for the person behind you in Timmy's, do something, for someone, for no reason.

Calgary Herald Christmas Fund - Give generously

Apparently I also still have that sign above my head that says "Crazy, high, depressed or just lonely? Come talk to me"

Wondering if I can somehow use washable paint to colour snow? Suggestions for colouring snow? Got one of my crazy ideas.... Everyone needs a little colour and magic in their lives, right? ;)

Fell into an interesting little something with #QCC, and while it might be a few days yet before I can hit the store or the post office due to weather delays, I think it's gonna be a fun thing and interesting too. Interesting and fun bunch of ladies :)

Spirits are still around, though quiet for the most part right now but I'm thinking THAT is a topic for another post, Spook Central deserves it's own space.

Alderney

It's a wild place - wild, woolly and never curried below the knee. Yes they say it's been tamed, and it has, to a degree. People live there and thrive and survive. People bring the trappings of civilization and bring a semblance of order to the organic chaos, and yet, they remain subject to her whims.

I grew up there. She was, and still is, a wild place once you take time to know Her as She really is. An island steeped in lore and legend, overflowing with history, a place of wildness and freedom, the kind of untamed beauty that can never be faked or reproduced. She has a history of freedom and independence that She breathes into every person who stays on Her for any length of time, especially those of us who grew up there. A sense of freedom and independence that can never be taught or learned, it grows with you, it's in the air you breathe, in the ground beneath your feet and in the dark blue waters surrounding Her.

It was, and is, a place that will never truly yield to man. It is a collection of huge rocks rising from the depths of a wild blue sea whose own heart man has never managed to conquer. A place where the fae walk with us and ghosts of ancestors past are always there beside us, just out of sight, only a breath away.

A place where time, tide, season and weather still affect every day life and nature makes Her presence felt every day. A place where the old times and old ways are more than just forgotten words in a faded book, or a distant memory. A place where the road known as Allees es Fees is more than just the link between a collection of houses, it is part of the smugglers road and part of the hidden pathways of the fair folk.

A place of dolmens and cromlechs, German gun posts and old forts linked only by tidal causeways. It's a different world, one where the old, wild places only tolerate the intrusion of humanity and modern life. Where you can find a neolithic grave alongside Occupation concrete, black rabbits and blonde hedgehogs alongside cats and cars.

A place where people still watch storm tossed seas as the maroons boom a call to summon the lifeboat crew and the watchers silently pray for a safe return. This is an island where we grow up knowing that 'When the sea wants you, She will take you' isn't imagination or fancy, it's a reality of life. We learn as children not to whistle up the wind or paint a boat green, that priests do not belong on board ship, except for burial at sea, and to always keep an eye on the rising tide or the gathering storm. We knew why the undertaker wore red socks, and as children we learned the secret pathways and hidden places that adults pretended they didn't know about.

A place steeped in history for it holds the bones of our mothers, their mothers and our ancestors back through the years, and the air we breathe carries the breath of countless generations who have lived and worked the land before us. It's an island of smugglers, soldiers, farmers and fishermen, of quarrymen, golfers, sailors and visitors. A place of torchlit processions, arguably a modern remnant of a much older tradition, still played out by successive new generations of bright eyed children. Here the museum used to be a school, the breakwater used to be longer, the train runs in summer and doing the Dougie is a rite of passage. Soft sandy beaches and storm battered cliffs, windswept commons and whitewashed houses with lovingly tended flower gardens, narrow twisting cobbled streets and battered old barns live side by side and support each other.

It's a place where you picked daffodils in spring and blackberries in autumn, where we once picked sloes to take to Captain Jim for sloe gin and rescued overgrown goldfish from a bunker on Essex during the drought of '76. Where we remember the one legged heron that massacred many ponds and people know what the Sugar Loaf is and why it's there, and where we read the message on the sundial as we land and before we leave. Where we know that when the fog rolls in, we might as well be on another planet, and that if there's no planes flying, there will be no mail and no papers, and where it pays to keep shelves and freezer stocked lest a storm come in and the boat doesn't. A place where the Wombles live wild, if you know how to find them, and children ran free growing up on sun, wind, rain and open space.

It is a place out of time and space, a place in a world of it's own. A place that grabs the heart and soul of all who have lived there and never lets go, no matter how far we may travel or where we roam. It is a place that many times it feels as thoughTime itself has forgotten Her but those who were raised there never do.

She is the wild, untamed spark that beats deep within our hearts. Wherever we go, whatever we do, we can always hear Her calling us Home.

Halloween Pagans

Another thing that came up was Halloween pagans. I'm guessing every religion has their equivalent o Christmas Christians, those who only claim their religion once or twice a year and then forget about it for the rest of the year. We get the ones who come out on Halloween, and then spend the rest of the year calling witchcraft evil.

Yes there are some who are still in the Broom Closet and for them Halloween is the one time of the year it's socially acceptable to be a witch or a pagan or whatever - although in some places even on Halloween it's not acceptable but that's another matter.
And then there are the ones who just want a brief, safe, thrill, or to shock a neighbour or play - gotta say it - those who want a chance to "dabble" safely without any consequences.

Oh please. Paganism in whatever form is a way of life, not a dress you put on once a year. Same applies to any religion - either walk the walk or go play somewhere I can't see or hear you. I don't care what religion anyone is if it's real to them, dabblers and those who pay lip service but don't mean it - I don't have time for.

Please note, seekers, those looking for answers or being curious, that's not the same thing and that's fine - they're looking and asking, not pretending to be something they aren't.

Apparently my inner bitch is awake this morning :/

Starhawk

Something else that came up in conversation was Starhawk. Her Spiral Dance is pretty much universally considered a 'must read', and it's one I usually include in any list of books to read when asked that inevitable question - "What would you recommend?"

Comment was made though that many of her other works are more political, and they are, which isn't a bad thing. For a start it's very much a part of who she is and how she lives her life. It does however mean that her other works are not everyone's cup of tea. Personally I have several of her books, and in honesty those I don't have are missing more because i haven't run across them yet when I had spare cash rather than because I don't want them.

Apparently I'm more political at heart than most people would give me credit for ;) I always knew that, other people just don't notice lol

Whatever your opinion on Starhawk and her books, they are good and contain much of interest to Pagans, and everyone else, they're just not for everyone in the same way not everyone likes peanut butter.

The Burning Times and the Islands

There's a lot of heated debate surrounding the "Burning Times", the Inquisition, Witch hunts and everything associated with it.

I grew up in a place where they did burn witches and heretics. They burned them, hung them and more. Burning, as in the infamous image of burning them at the stake, was largely a European practise, though not a British one. The British preferred that their witches 'hang by the neck until dead'.

Except in the Channel Islands. There hanging was only one of several methods of punishment meted out to those convicted of witchcraft. Other sentences included banishment - for life or for a fixed term, burning, disfigurement or lashes.

There's a book, Witchcraft and Devil Lore in the Channel Islands that not only tells the story of witchcraft in the islands but also details the names and sentences of those accused of witchcraft and brought before the courts. The list is taken from the original french court records that still lie in the island archives.

"June 4th, 1624.

Ester Henry, wife of Jean de France.

This woman was burnt alive. The sentence states that her flesh and bones are to be reduced to ashes and scattered by the winds, as being unworthy of any sepulture."

The witch hunts, and witchcraft, are just one part of the history of islands steeped in myth, legend and history.

Ancestors

Inspired by Tanila's comments about ancestors and ancestor photos I had to go find this. Samhain is coming, time to remember those who came before.

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It's not just our personal past we should remember for it's part in making us who and where we are now. We should also remember the people and the generations who have gone before us, our parents and grandparents and the many generations beyond them, lost now to the haze of history. They each had their part to play in how we came to be who and where we are now.

Most people don't think too much about their ancestors, and most people don't need to. It does seem though that there really is at least one born into every generation who does care, who is driven to find and document them and to rediscover them before they are lost to obscurity forever. Driven to put names, places, faces and dates together, to piece together some parts of their stories, be they happy, sad, tragic or heroic, for each of them did have their own story.

Perhaps it's the modern day equivalent of being the storyteller, the one who preserved for the next generation the tales of myth and legend, the stories of hardship and celebration, and shared them with everyone else during long winter nights huddled together around the fire. Maybe those who are driven to uncover family history are simply the modern day incarnation of an ancient tradition.

There will always be skeletons hidden away that some would prefer be forgotten, there will be heroes and homemakers, adventurers, rascals, scoundrels and simple hardworking men who did nothing more remarkable in their lives than toil day in and day out to keep their families housed and fed. They are all a part of our past and deserve to be remembered.

"Putting together a family tree is like weaving an intricate multi-dimensional tapestry without knowing anything about the final design, because that final design doesn't exist."
Peter Baltensperger - Roaming in Ancestral Cycles.

Some people will always be little more than names and dates, the rest of their story already forgotten. Others will carry more colour, the sadness of children lost in infancy, the joys of children surviving to adulthood and producing offspring of their own. Still others come to life in faded photographs, or put a name to previously anonymous face, or turn out to be the grain of truth behind an old family anecdote.

Better that someone collect and record the fragments so that it remains available for the next generation than for their stories, great or small, to be lost, for once they are lost they might be gone forever.

Some families lived generations in the same place, working the same land, facing the same struggles to raise their families. They deserve to be remembered too, or do we want to forget the Audoires, French descended farmers raising generations on rough farmland on a tiny windswept island? Like Jane, who raised thirteen children there before her eldest son, Peter Henry, inherited the farmland and sold it off, using the proceeds to buy her the 'first real house' she had ever lived in.

Do we want to forget the Patton boys of Grayson county, Virginia, who left behind wives and children to fight for the Confederacy, in defence of their homeland and for what they believed was right? Leftwich and Creed Patton, close as brothers could be, grew up together, enlisted to fight together, forever torn apart when Leftwich was killed at the Battle of Middle Creek. Creed fought on, leading his company through the rest of the war before he finally returned home.

Or should we forget the women they left behind to hold home and family together not knowing when or if they would see their menfolk again? Or the Patton sisters, Cynthia and Martha, who devoted years to helping raise Leftwich's children after he was killed in the War Between the States, four small children who never had a chance to know their father.

The same goes for the Guernseymen who volunteered to fight a war they could not drafted into because they believed it was right. Many marched away to the Great War and a lot of them never returned home, and many of those who did return were never the same again. Should we forget the women and families they left behind? Or the babies who died, as so many did in times past, before they ever had a chance at life?

Perhaps we should forget the women like the two Nancy Patton's, of different lines and generations, who each defied society, convention and church to raise the children they bore outside wedlock, and whose children each married and raised large families of their own. Or the Guernseman who stood before God and congregation on his wedding day and declared that the child his new wife held in her arms was his? Was it? who knows, it doesn't matter, his declaration is forever recorded immediately below his marriage in the church register and it would have taken a brave man to call it other than truth.

Perhaps we could ignore the quarrymen, like Thomas Smith Brown, who did nothing more than work long back breaking days quarrying granite in Guernsey, a world away from their native Devon and Cornwall. Or maybe immigrants like the Aeicheles who came from Russia, Poland and Germany, halfway around the world in search of a better life in Canada and America?

Maybe the Whalleys and Kays from Lancashire, who were 'only' miners and weavers, the very backbone of life in the north of England. Maybe the interestingly mis-transcribed "card loom worker" who was listed as the much more mysterious and exotic sounding "card Room Worker" when one census was released. Or perhaps the Scottish tenant farmer, William Murray, a man of obvious means, who late in life married the innkeeper's daughter and raised a large family.

Could we forget Cornish born Susan Jane who literally married the boy next door, then followed him to Canada with their children, suffering the loss of one child before she even reached Manitoba? Or Cecil, who was invalided out of the Great War, and had to wear his silver discharge badge so as to avoid being accused of cowardice? One war wasn't enough for him, for he also endured four long years of his island home being occupied by invading German forces, separated from the wife and child he had evacuated to safety in Rochester, and facing the same near starvation as everyone else who remained behind on the island, a starvation only alleviated by the ships of the Red Cross.

They all have a part in the story of our past, they are our roots, they are part of the foundation on which we can build our future, without any one of them we wouldn't be here. And for that, they deserve to be remembered.

Is your neighbour a witch?

Halloween is almost here, the favourite time of year of many witches and Pagans. Is your neighbour a witch? He could be and you would probably never know it unless he told you. And yes, witches and Pagan an be any sex.

Do you know if you live next door to a Pagan? Maybe you do. Paganism is the fastest growing religion in North America according to census figures, and that only counts those who openly identify as, and admit to being, Pagan when completing the forms. Many more Pagans are still hidden in the proverbial Broom Closet and keep their beliefs to themselves. Even those of us who are out rarely go around waving the fact in the faces of the people we meet every day. For a start ours is not a faith that believes in proselytisation, and we also consider that a person's faith is something between them and their gods and no-one else.

Anyway, most of us are too busy living our lives just like everyone else. We still have to juggle work, school, home, kids, bills and all the other facets of every day life. We're just like everyone else in that respect, and many others. We don't have two heads, we don't eat babies - except jelly babies. We don't put newts eyes or lizard legs in our supper, and we don't worship the devil. As an Abrahamic construction he's not even part of our cosmology so why would we worship something we don't believe in?

Generally speaking Pagans respect and honour the earth and everyone and everything on it. We note the passing of the seasons and the cycles of life, and of the Earth itself. Many of us worship in private, some alone, some in concert with like minded souls, depending on personal preference and circumstance. We consider that the gods will call who they wish to follow the Pagan path, so don't feel the need to actively seek out converts. Most of us, however, are more than happy to answer questions asked us about our beliefs as best we can.

Some of us do perform our religious rituals naked, many of us don't. Again it comes down to personal preference, location and the weather. The last being a not small consideration up here in Calgary. That and Pagans are no more likely to be exhibitionists than anyone else, so you're not likely to see us dancing naked in Olympic Plaza. Mind you, anything is possible!

Pagans respect life, so no we don't sacrifice animals or eat babies. We value children, especially our own and raise them to be free thinking individuals who know enough to be able to choose their own religion when they are mature enough to make an informed choice, even if they choose a religion different from our own. Pagans don't believe in any one right religion, only that the one a person is following is the right for that particular person. We accept and respect the existence of many gods, our own and those of others and do not disrespect the gods, holy places or sacred items of another religion. We ask only that other people show us the same respect.

Is your neighbour a witch? She could be but you probably wouldn't know just by looking at her. Pagans and witches come in all shapes, sizes and colours, and from all races, places, political affiliations and income brackets. In short, there are Pagans in all walks of life, you'd be surprised if you knew how widespread and diverse we are. But you know what? We're also just like you, we're no worse as neighbours than anyone else. Ask my neighbours, they live next door to a witch.

(Apologies for any typos - tiredness!)

New City Centre Plan?

Churches and other religious institutions weren't considered in the plans for the new city centre because they 'don't contribute financially' to the city? Seriously? That's just dollars gone crazy. Especially when we're talking about places like Mustard Seed, Inn From The Cold and Calgary Urban Project Society (CUPS)

All churches, of whatever religion, provide far more than simply a place to gather in worship. they provide community, social and recreational events and services, and foster a sense of community. And they do so for everyone whether they are members of their religious community or not. And that sense of community is something sadly lacking in many parts of life today.

Or, lets talk dollars. How much would it cost the city to pay for all the services currently provided by people like CUPS? Pretty sure the city wouldn't want to foot the bill. Yet without places like Mustard Seed many of those already disadvantaged and suffering would find lives that are difficult becoming impossible.

Seems almost as if those creating the new city centre plan are deliberately trying to marginalize those already suffering and force them elsewhere. Trying to pretend that the city doesn't have a problem with homelessness or poverty and doesn't have a need for organizations like Inn From The Cold.

Where are they supposed to go, all these non profitable religious institutions? Let me guess, anywhere but here? Go wherever you like as long as you're not our problem any more? That's how it appears.

Any plan for a revitalized city centre must include at least all those religious institutions already there. Saying they don't contribute financially is saying that the only thing in this world that matters is dollars and cents. And not people. They benefit the city and all the people in it in myriad ways, ways that cannot be measured in dollars - unless you want to figure out what replacing them and everything they do would cost the city.

Either count them in, or fix all the social ills of the city so that they are no longer needed for anything other than religious services and events and can move elsewhere with a clear conscience and leaving the huge gaping hole that their disappearance would currently create. Count them in and let them continue to provide all the good that they bring to the city. Calgary needs more caring, compassion and community, not less.
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So apparently I'm not alone, found this today -
Op Ed in the Herald;

Go vote, Calgary

So it's voting time in Calgary, and almost time down south of the border in the US midterms. The single most important thing you can do is actually get out there and vote! Whoever you decide to vote for, get out there and do it!

If you don't go and exercise your right to vote don't bitch about who wins. At least if you vote and your choice fails you know you tried.

I'm not going to tell you who to vote for - that's part of the democratic process - you get to decide for yourself. I do think, however, that a candidate should be measured by what they say about the issues, their plans to deal with those issues and their previous record - if they have one. Not by their race, religion, sexuality or gender, but by whether or not their plans and intentions are going to be good for the city (or state in US).

As someone on Twitter said (I forget who, sorry) 'I'd vote for a transvestite Tibetan Buddhist is she were the best person for Calgary' Or words to that effect.

Two things I look for in a political candidate are honesty and balls - both sometimes in short supply. The honesty to tell the truth about their aims and intentions, their take on the issues and on what issues they consider most important. And the balls to stand by those once elected and try to bring about the changes they promised. Doesn't mean they will always succeed, I know this, life isn't that smooth or simple, especially in politics - but they should stand by their words and try, instead of simply telling people what they think people want to hear in order to get votes and then throwing all those empty promises out of the window once they're elected.

Oh look, we're back to honesty.

We need politicians and leader where what you see is what you get, those we can trust to stand by what they say and try to live up to their campaign promises. We need honesty, transparency and balls (metaphorically speaking). We need leaders who are there for the best interests of the city (or state) and it's people, not just for themselves, their wallets, and their 'special interests'.

And the only way we are going to get that is if each and every one of us gets out there and exercise our right to vote.

Now quit reading and go VOTE!

Dabblegate

Somehow I don't think Christine O'Donnell ever expected to become a teaching aid and opportunity for the
Pagan community.

Thanks almost entirely to her own efforts to apparently play it down, Dabblegate isn't going to be forgotten any time soon. And you know, that may not be an entirely bad thing - bad for her, not so bad for the Pagan community.

I was struck today by the realization that Dabblegate and Christine O'Donnell could actually turn out to be good for the Pagan community.

Let me explain. In the beginning was her now infamous comment about 'dabbling in witchcraft' in high school and having a date one a 'satanic altar'. Her comments were just another rerun of old, worn misinformed stereotype - although in one fell swoop she did manage to irritate both Pagans and Satanists alike - no mean feat. Pretty sure she didn't win herself any voters either but that's her problem.

Christine O'Donnell did, however, provide what Rev, Selena Fox called a 'teachable moment', and Selena, T Thorn Coyle and many others have been swift to make the most of that moment, publicly and privately, nationally and locally, to set the record straight as to what paganism is and who Pagans are.

Christine O'Donnell's denials, and her attempt to defuse the situation and salvage her candidacy probably sealed her loss of the Pagan vote when she tried to say that her 'dabbling' was simply a result of her hanging out with undesirables in high school.

Certainly her comments have given Paganism in general and witches in particular a moment in the national media spotlight, and there are enough well known Pagans willing to speak publicly to set the record straight. It has been a perfect chance to get accurate information out there in a calm, civilized way with a hint of humour. That in itself may well do the Pagan community more good in the long run than any amount of 'we do not worship the devil' type statements.

Then Christine O'Donnel comes out with her "I am not a witch" campaign ad, while looking as if she had stepped straight off the set of "Charmed". My first thought was that i would love to make an ad that began "I am a witch" and apparently i was far from alone in that thought. So far today I have seen two, and I just know that is going to be the tip of the iceberg - one kind lady http://aquakerwitch.blogspot.com/ is going to collect up all the links she can find and assemble them in one place.

Christine O'Donnell's misguided, ill informed comments see to have backfired and brought out many Pagans and united them in a way that doesn't happen every day. She has given us a chance, both individually and as a community, to stand up and speak out and offer accurate, straightforward information and to show that we don't have two heads or bat wings - we are just people with morals, ethics and our own religions.

And she has also managed to crack open the door of the Broom Closet a little wide than it was before, and that can only be a good thing .

Yep, call me odd, but I can see many ways that as time passes we could well come to see Dabblegate as a good thing for witches, pagans, and the Pagan community.
Pretty sure it won't go down in history as a good thing for Christine O'Donnell though, unless she one day decides to come out of the Broom Closet. And I'm pretty sure she has permanently lost the Pagan vote. Sorry Christine.

Date rape

So in the previous vein, women also seem to be conditioned to let men get away with a lot of things - to let them have sex even if the woman isn't in the mood or doesn't want to - technically if it's against her will, it's rape.

The stereotypical image of a rapist is some guy lurking in the bushes who jumps out on some unsuspecting young woman - you know what? That's a myth perpetuated by people who don't want to admit that most rapes are actually carried out by someone known to the victim. And if she doesn't want to have sex, then date rape is still rape. Marital rape does exist. It is NOT a man's right to have sex with her just because she is his wife. It is not a man's right to have sex with a woman just because they were alone together or they went to a movie. Is it any wonder that the vast majority of rapes go unreported?

Sometimes you wish you could take the law into your own hands, but of course you can't. One person however made use of her right to free speech.
Outted rapist

What struck me most wasn't that she used facebook to out the guys, it was these three points, especially the third.

1. The system fails women. Again and again. Campus and law-enforcement response to sexual assault is often inadequate at best, traumatic at worst. And schools are reluctant to treat acquaintance rapes (aka the majority of rapes) as crimes worthy of alerting all students about. These system failures essentially give offenders license to rape again.

2. Women already share this type of information informally -- and have since long before Facebook. Women in a particular industry warn each other about which bosses are sexist and which coworkers are harassers. We discuss previous relationship violence we have experienced and caution friends against dating those men. We are often each other's best support and resource.

3. Rapists are likely to be repeat offenders. This was Rubenstein's primary motivation for making the Facebook posting: "I felt like I needed to warn everyone else about these guys," she said. The comments at Jezebel (where Amanda's post was reposted) are full of women's stories of being raped by an acquaintance who went on to rape other women.

Throughout history women have shared stories, exchanged gossip, and sometimes that gossip actually had/has substance - women talking together can just as easily convey important information as share ideas in how to wash their man's pants! Shocking I know lol But sometimes we actually DO talk about important things in life, and share info on someone who has hurt one of our sisters Is a very important thing to share. And make no mistake, we ARE all sisters, we are all women, we have that in common and what affects one of us has the potential to affect us all.

As for the third point, the majority of date rapists have done it before and WILL do it again. So, you may be wondering, why don't women report them? Because first you have point one - the system doesn't make it easy to do so, the investigation and gathering of evidence is invasive and humiliating and requires a woman to relieve the ordeal repeatedly, something she is in state to deal with after the trauma of being raped in the first place.

Because many victims of date rape are ashamed of having put themselves in that position in the first place, they think it's their fault - which it isn't. They think people will blame them for the wrong clothes, or leading him on, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Victim blaming is still endemic in our society, especially in cases of rape and other violent acts against women - too many people still think "She deserved it" or "She asked for it". You know what? No woman ever asks to be raped or abused, whether by her boyfriend, her date, her neighbour or a complete stranger, period.

Rape, whether date rape, stranger rape or whatever, has absolutely NOTHING to do with SEX and EVERYTHING to do with a male need for POWER over, CONTROL of and VIOLENCE towards the victim. There's a reason rape is used as a weapon of war - and it's not because soldiers need sex. It's because it's a vicious, violent weapon that affects on multiple levels.

Victims think no-one will believe them - any case of he said she said is difficult to prove, especially rape - he says they were having rough sex, she says she was raped, there are no witnesses - chances are not good that he'll be found guilty of anything either by the law or by society. Sorry, but sad as it is that is a reflection on both society and the law which has to consider someone innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt - not that that helps out the victims. It's just the way it is.

And no victim really wants to relive what they just went through, probably multiple times, in front of male police officers, court officials, lawyers, judges... you get the idea.

I can understand why, however, that brings us back to point two again - any victim has the right now to go to the authorities if that's what she chooses but she shouldn't remain silent within her own circle of sisters. The chances are very good that if he has raped her, then he's done it to other people, and he will do it again. We have to continue to talk to each other, to protect each other. As soon as one victim of date rape speaks out, you can almost guarantee others will speak up and the only way anything will ever be done about these perpetrators is when enough people know and stand up to them and call them to account for their actions.

In my book, Chloe Rubenstein did what she thought she needed to do to protect other women, to protect her sisters. We all need to look out for each other, we all need to stand together instead of blaming the victims, we need to stand against those who think date rape, rape, abuse and violence are ok. We need to remember we are all in this together and find some sisterhood.

And we need some way of warning other women to at least be wary and be careful when around someone who has committed such an offence. There's a reason women gossip - sometimes it's for mutual protection.

Feminism

So there are lot of misconceptions about feminism and feminists, not least that all feminists are man hating, lumber jacking lesbians or some such who want to overthrow men and do away with family and all kinds of similar notions.

[Feminism is] a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians. ~Pat Robertson.

Need I say more? Unfortunately it's a well heard view, and part of the reason a lot of women don't think of themselves as feminists even when they are.

fem·i·nism
1. the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
2. (sometimes initial capital letter) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.
3. feminine character.

fem·i·nism
1. Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.
2. The movement organized around this belief.

Maybe it's just that feminism is all about equality, parity and women standing up for themselves, each other, and our rights and protections as human beings. That seems to be scary to too many men in the world - and the idea of owning their own power and standing up for themselves as equals is apparently scary to some women too. From childhood girls are taught to be good, behave, be obedient, be nice, be subservient to the men in their lives - yes even in our supposedly civilized western society.

"I myself have never been able to find out what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute." ~Rebecca West

Society needs an attitude change because too many people still think that women should be doormats, unable to say no or refute any demand made on them - whoever by.

(There will be more on this topic lol)

Books - Chick Lit LOL

Books I have read and own that I think every free thinking woman should read:

Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom
Spider Woman's Web
Holy Book of Women's Mysteries
Standing Together
Our Bodies, Ourselves
Women Who Run With Wolves
Truth or Dare
Awakening Intuition

There are more, I know there are, but after restarting my library from scratch I cannot remember. Suggestions are welcome....

Alicia

So I was thinking about what Alicia said - "It truly bothers me, an underlying theme in our community, that women (even in positions of leadership) are to be silent to 'keep the peace' to allow others to infringe upon our rights and the rights of others, to allow the cycle of abuse to run rampant. Every time I speak out, it garners some very strange reactions."

And she does get some interesting reactions for not being the 'good, quiet obedient girl' that too many people, not all men, would prefer her to be. Yet she should be speaking up, she shouldn't be silent just because some people are uncomfortable with the things she has to say about rape, domestic violence, women's rights, aboriginal rights and many other subjects. They are things that need saying, they address issues, behaviour and facts that need to be brought into the light and dealt with. We need more people who are willing to do that, even in the face of opposition and denial.

We need more people like her who are willing to stand tall, speak their mind and call it like it is, especially on the many taboo subjects in our society. People are going to find it uncomfortable because they would rather these things be swept under the carpet and left there. Well you know what? Sweeping things under the carpet doesn't make them go away. We need to stand up and make people face facts and deal with them.

Alicia also made another point, that as a priestess silence is not an option. She is expected and required to stand up and say what needs to be said. As she put it "The Gods have no respect for cowardice..." Especially some of them. I understand where she's coming from with that one, and no it's not an easy road to walk, even the Gods agree on that. It is, however, a necessary one, and a road that Alicia walks with strength, intelligence, dignity and fire. She is an outstanding person, priestess, pagan and activist. In my opinion the world could use a few more women like her.

My mum

It's been ten years now, and yet every day I miss her. I still want to pick up the phone and hear her voice on the other end - and I never will, and that kills me.
Same as it kills me that she has four grandchildren, one who was only a baby when she died, and one, she will never know. And he will never know her. And she would have adored him as she adored the other three.
I try not to remember her as she was at the end, I prefer to remember her as she was before that - as she was when I was a child and as she was even when her two oldest grandchildren were babies. Then, she was a strong, determined woman who taught me many things that have shaped who I am today. I don't need to remember her as she was once life, and men, destroyed her, I knew her when she was so much more than that - back before she lost the love of her life.

Only now do I realize how much I owe her, how much she shaped who I am. Because only now can I see what I couldn't define back then when it happened and understand why she did what she did. Only now do I understand how hard it was for her to be who she was, to give birth to me in the first place as an unmarried mother, to raise me though she never married my step father, (the love of her life, may he rest in peace forever) in the place and with the people she was with, and only now do I really understand why she gave up.

I've always accepted that she simply couldn't take any more after everything that she had put up with, I always knew that losing the love of her life first to another woman and then to cancer - and helping his new wife through that loss - in addition to her own recent loss of the asshole she called a boyfriend - was simply too much - I just never truly understood how she could quit and give up - I accepted it as her choice but I didn't understand it - now I do.

That doesn't matter - what matters is that I realize that she gave me so much more than life, she introduced me to worlds I will never forget, she gave me freedoms I could wish for all children, she taught me many things I can only hope to pass on to my children, she loved those of her grandchildren that she knew, and she loved me. Regardless of what I did or didn't do, she loved me.

And no matter if it is one year, ten years or a hundred years, I will always miss the fact that I can no longer pick up a phone, dial a number, and hear her voice.

Rest in peace, whether with your gods or mine, Mum, for I love you, now and for always, in this world and the next. May my Lady bless you for all time.
Love you Mum.

Hell in a handbasket

Time acceleration
Think of time as elastic. "The amount that has to be thought about and acted on in a short space doesn't seem to relate to actual clock time. Time is anything but static. Have you ever been in an accident? did you experience time slowing down as you had nanoseconds to respond? Everything becomes extra slow, allowing thoughts and actions 'time' to prevail. Or when you're totally engrossed in something, time seems to disappear."

Synchronicity
A person's experience of two or more events happening simultaneously that are unrelated by cause and effect but which occur in a significant manner.

When we are on the right path, even if we don't have a clue what that path is, when we are being true to ourselves, living authentic lives, synchronicities occur with increasing frequency.

Notes on the Tenth Insight, sequel to the Celestine Prophecy

"He was voicing the Fear."
"I think the danger is that a lot of people are beginning to believe it is happening."

Voicing the Fear, based on revelations, the End Times, and the 7 years of Tribulations that are supposed to follow the Rapture. - Earthquakes, rising sea levels, destruction of cities, economic crisis, rioting and crime.

any of that sound familiar or have you not been paying attention to what is going on in the world? And I don't mean the Rapture itself, I mean the world in general around us.

Thoughts are things, witches, Pagans, magic users and many others have known that for a long time. There could well be a great danger in a large number of people becoming convinced that the world is coming to an end in 2012, or whenever - if enough people hold to that belief then we might just bring it to pass as a self fulfilling prophecy.

There is too much going on right now for me not to accept that something is coming, something is going to happen. In 2012? maybe, maybe not.

http://www.dailyhotnews.org/323/2010-the-year-of-natural-disasters/

Not to mention all the other things potentially going wrong in the world right now, and for those who hold to such things whether with belief, interest or mere curiosity, 21 12 2012.

Earthquakes http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_earthquakes

Do I think the world is going to hell in a hand basket? yeah pretty much. Do I think the world will end? No. And not just because I refuse to buy into the Fear and create a self fulfilling prophecy.

Do I think the world as we know it might end/change? Yes I think it's a distinct possibility for oh so many reasons. There is too much going on right now in a shorter and shorter space of time, from natural disasters, to man made ones, to economic crisis, pandemics, to name some. for a start there are only so many disasters that relief agencies can deal with at any one time - especially since even when a disaster falls from the headlines, agencies are still working to help people survive, thrive and rebuild - it's just old news. Resources, both for disaster relief and generally, can only stretch so thin and so far. Eventually there will come a breaking point. Something has to give, more than it already has, given that the distribution of everything over the world is unfair already, else there wouldn't be millions of people starving and lacking clean water - but it's going to get worse.

Saudi Arabia is already running out of water having drained its non replenishable aquifer to the point where it will, in a few years, no long be growing any wheat for its population and will be importing it all based on oil money. But that wheat they import has to come from somewhere, and mean less wheat for other people....

I think something has to give, sooner or later. And if one thing, or country, goes under it's going to have a knock on effect that will reach all the way around this globalised world of ours. Maybe not today, Maybe not this year, maybe not in ten years, but it'll come. More and more people seem to be awakening to the idea that "something' is going on, that there are an increasing number of disasters, severe weather storms, heat waves, and everything else, that they are occurring with greater frequency and affecting almost every area of the world. No-one is immune from the possibility of something happening. Denial is not an option if we want a chance at a future, a better future.

Information and action are the antidotes to worry and fear.

fight the fear, don't feed it, don't let it paralyse, else the world that we fear might just come to pass. Back to thoughts are things that can take on a life of their own. Each of us has to find our own personal vision that sees beyond the Fear, and helps bring about a world worth living in afterwards if we do reach breaking point and face the end of the world as we know it (TEOTWAWKI)

TEOTWAWKI

TEOTWAWKI could be in any one, or more of a large number of ways. However I intend to do everything in my power to ensure that me and mine survive whatever happens in the best way possible. Three words - Preparedness and sustainability. that, and Survival Mom's Credo http://thesurvivalmom.com/ - Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have. More on that another time however.

Another quote from Survival Mom "As moms, I've just gotta be honest here, we don't have the luxury of denial. We can't afford to insist that the world isn't changing, that our world isn't changing. Denial and fear keep us from seeing other possibilities, other paths and venturing forward.

If the readers of this blog http://thesurvivalmom.com/ are still wearing blinders, I'd be surprised. Facing the future with boldness and a proactive attitude, requires wide-open eyes and courage, and what is preparedness if not facing the future and whatever it holds? "

Funnily I picked up that quote tonight after writing "Eyes wide open to all that is happening so that TEOTWAWKI does not catch us unawares - it will catch many people napping."

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Change is coming, resist it, fear it, deny it or be prepared and flow with it. Follow your own vision, live an authentic life and let the synchronicities flow. There's nothing wrong with covering your bases. There are plenty of good reasons to be prepared, even the government wants everyone to be prepared enough to look after themselves and their families for 72 hours in the event of an emergency, and do you really think in light of recent events in recent years like hurricane Katrina or the earthquake in Haiti that 72 hours would be long enough?

Today, sunflowers, bubbles and chalk

Today we went to the North Pole aka the park to play, blowing bubbles, drawing hopscotch with sidewalk chalk and planting sunflowers. This world could always use a little more magic in it. Ok so International Sunflower planting day might have been a little over a week ago but we've had two snowstorms in the last fortnight so..... We'll see what happens. But I'm making food and I have an hour or so, theoretically, of peace - relatively speaking, so this could be the time of random postings. Well I did warn you that posting could be erratic, random and usually less than coherent ;)

Partly that is because as always there are many thoughts running through my head in tandem, all vying for their turn at 'top spot'. You'll see - or you can run away now.

"Many women today feel a sadness we cannot name. Though we accomplish much of what we set out to do, we sense that something is missing in our lives, and - fruitlessly - search 'out there' for the answers. What's often wrong is that we are disconnected from an authentic sense of self." Emily Hancock.

And that doesn't just apply to women, especially in terms of some of the thoughts that have been chasing each other through my head lately and showing up in conversations with a friend or two. Anyway I told a friend I'd try and get some of my stray thoughts and scribbled notes into something resembling sentences - not coherence - just sentences for now. So that is what I'm going to try and do, on a variety of topics. Be afraid, be very afraid he he

Following on...

"Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathy with despised and persecuted ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences."
Susan B Anthony.

So.... watching so many of my friends suffer from "shit happens" always makes me think, not always in nice ways either. You see, while I am largely a nice person, somewhere inside me there's a bitch and every once in a while she gets let loose. Like a good friend of mine, I'll take a lot, and put up with a lot, and stay quiet, calm and whatever through a lot, but, (you knew there was a but didn't you?) BUT somewhere, depending on the topic and the people involved, there WILL be a line in the sand and if anyone steps over that line they better watch out. Oftentimes it takes a lot, but once that line is crossed, the gloves are off. There's a few people out there who have experienced that for themselves and you know, I make no apologies for it. It's not something that happens often, so when it does, it's generally for a reason.

Anyway, I was digressing. I was watching the soap opera that is life, and I was thinking, and I actually got sad and frustrated...

Why is it that so many women fall for that totally ridiculous fallacy that says "I'm attached therefore I exist"???? (Don't make me name names lol) Seriously. Even when I was in a place where I was beginning to wonder if I, as a person, existed, it wasn't because i didn't have a man, it was because I didn't want the one I had and there were a few things in the way of losing him.

"Women tend to make a relationship their life, their identity, while men make it a part of their lives." Now how freakin true is that? And how wrong.....
Nobody is going to love you if you don't love yourself, and nobody is going to respect you if you don't respect yourself enough to expect them to.

Too many women are so busy trying to make him want them that they fail to stop and ask themselves if they want him in the first place.

Some women are so desperate not to be alone with themselves that they go to lengths that make the rest of us go "WTF?!?!?" They're the ones who not only put up with behaviour most of us would consider unacceptable, they take the blame for his doing it in the first place, and somehow makes themselves responsible for his bad behaviour. So he doesn't have to accept responsibility for anything, there are no consequences of whatever he did and is free to do it again, indeed he's almost validated in his behaviour.

I swear sometimes I not only don't understand the human species, I don't even understand my own gender. Okay maybe I do understand, I just don't like it.

Life stuff and stray thoughts

Well I never did promise sanity, sense, coherence or anything else remotely related. Just adding in a few older posts while I try and figure out what I'm supposed to be doing this afternoon - and then figure out what I'll actually do lol
Weather is too crappy for another trip out so that'll have to wait... might have to call another buddy who's having a 'shit happens' week. Life can be a really... interesting thing sometimes - not always in a good way even when things happen that are probably for the best in the long term - they still aren't any fun at all in the short term. Sucks to be going through it and I feel for her, I really do. Sometimes in life there is no "right" answer, no "correct" solution, only better or worse, or a lesser evil, or dealing with what comes, somehow, as best you can.

No-one round here knows her, and no-one knows who I'm talking about except me and her and that's how it'll stay. Imagine being single, less than young, and finding out you're pregnant, and knowing abortion is not a choice you want to make - although like me she firmly believes that abortion should always be a legally available option for any woman - her personal choice is not. So that's out, yet, on the other hand, all practical considerations aside, and all of us with kids know there are PLENTY of those, you also know that if you carry this child, there's every chance you'll get as sick as last time, and in fact you were warned that you shouldn't have any more children as being pregnant again would pose a high risk of killing you. I remember how sick she was last time. When life happens, it happens good and hard! Love you girl.

Life seems to happening a little too much to several of my friends lately - for starters I'll be glad when Mercury retrograde is over! Relationships starting, ending, going pants - for umpteenth time.... not to mention all the rest of the crap going on. Life may be what it is, but sometimes it seems to happen hard and fast.

Anyway.... "Every action comes with a price, be prepared to pay that price and then do what you will." Elspeth Sapphire (hope I remembered that correctly!)

And in a similar vein since I was reminded by the current snowfall...

It's snowing again, big, soft, fluffy flakes that cover the dirty ridges of refrozen slush left from earlier falls with a clean white blanket. Christmas card beauty is restored, sound is muffled, the world seems calmer and less frantic. Of course, cars are slipping and sliding, losing traction and getting stuck, drivers cursing as their wheels spin helplessly. People pass by walking fast, hands in pockets, hoods pulled high over their ears, intent only on reaching their destinations with maximum speed. A few stop to help the stranded drivers, gloved hands pushing against snow covered cars, trying to move them clear of trouble.

In the midst of all the cold chaos, a boy, almost three, falls to his knees in the soft snow and laughs. His nose is already red, his cheeks rosy, snow covers his pants and collects in the tops of his boots. He doesn't care. His eyes shine as he rolls in the snow. The snow is soft and white, his toes are warm and dry deep inside his hand-me-down boots, his fingers are snug inside striped gloves. Padded jacket and pants protect him from the weather and he is having fun. To him, the boots and pants are new wonders, the key to exploring a magical world of whiteness that he doesn't remember from the winter before. To him, it's all new.

Climbing to his feet, his eyes sparkle as he looks up briefly.

"Jump!" He jumps over another ridge of snow and giggles. "One more time!" and falls to his knees in the snow again.

The innocent, timeless joy of a child for whom time doesn't matter. There is no duty, no responsibility, no reason to hurry, no deadline, all are foreign concepts to him, expectations for other people. The only thing that is important to him, the only thing that matters, is this moment, and the snow.

As Rita Mae Brown is quoted as saying, "I finally figured out that the only reason to be alive, is to enjoy it."

If there is no time to enjoy any part of it, then there's something not working in your life. All too often people forget that life isn't one big thing, it's lots of little things all joined together. And they're not joined together in any neat, compartmentalized pattern where each has its own separate place where it belongs and will stay, they're all tangled together in one seemingly chaotic mess, touching together, tangling, merging, twisting and joining without obvious order or even meaning. Yet as a whole, this tangled, barely organized chaos works. Or it should do.

People who view life as one big thing that they have to 'get right' will always find themselves disappointed. there will always be something that could be better, bigger newer or more abundant, there will always be something missing.

Those who view life as being made up of many small pieces all joined together have more chance of getting the overall balance, the bigger picture, 'right'. Whatever 'right' means for them. There will probably always be parts that they wish were better, bigger, newer, shinier, not so dull or boring, or just plain wrong. However, hopefully there will be enough parts that are right, good, fun and exciting to balance them out and in the end make the good parts outweigh the bad parts when taken as a whole. That, is what makes a good life, not your bank balance, what car you drive or how many pairs of shoes you have.

Looking at life as a collage of smaller pieces, snapshots, there will be some that stand out and almost seem to glow with a life of their own, those are the moments and memories that have the power to make the whole of life a little brighter and better. Of course that does mean it's necessary to actually take the time to notice those moments in the first place, as they're happening, and not simply later as a good memory. Remembering a time when you were happy and enjoying life is one thing, realizing it at the time, as it is happening, is another. It requires time, something too many people don't make, to grab, enjoy and savour those moments - like playing in the snow, stopping to smell freshly bloomed roses, pausing to listen to the wind and the birds in the trees or letting warm summer rain fall on bare skin and savouring the feel of grass between your toes rather than simply hurrying to get from A to B as quickly as possible.

So it took us a little longer to get to the store and back in the snow that day, so what? Did it matter? Not in the slightest in the scheme of things. There was nothing that was so important that a small boy couldn't have the time to enjoy what, for him, was perfect moment.

Kids

So it's May and it's still snowing but at least the winds ahve died down somewhat. So demon gave us a ride and we made it to the mall for Stuff-a-Plush - and now we're home with an adorable duck christened Quacker. Still snowing out there mind you.


Children grow at their own pace and no amount of wishing, commanding or trying to force them will change that. Be realistic, keep your expectations real, and remember that they will grow out of almost everything eventually. the more you stress and struggle to make them into something they aren't ready to be, the harder it will be on everyone concerned.

Kids are only young once, they grow up way too fast so enjoy them while you can. Don't waste precious time that could be spent enjoying them by wishing it away wanting them to be something they aren't. If you don't enjoy them as they are now, whatever that now is, all too soon you'll find they've grown up and are moving away from and into lives of their own, leaving you wishing you could turn back the clock and do it again.
And that isn't going to happen.

Don't miss their childhood by always being focused on reaching the next step, the next goal, the next milestone. Don't aim so hard for that next step that you always miss the ones they're taking right now. Every day is full of things that are new to them, and each day that passes is one that you can never get back again.

Take time, stop and watch the robin hunt for worms, blows bubbles in the bath, make dandelion wishes in the sunshine, make snow angels or just stand still and feel the icy soft touch of snowflakes on your face.

There is already way too much hurry up in this world. The basics of life, work, mundania, will wait a little while, children won't. Far too soon they'll be living their own lives, with their own friends and interests, away at school all day and they won't want us to be a part of their world in the same way. And then, it'll be too late for anything except regrets over the times we missed out on as we hurried them through their childhood.

The best thing we can give our children is time, time to simply be children, time to discover the world as they see it, and time with us. The best thing we can give ourselves is time with them while they are still being children.

No parent ever went to their deathbed thinking "I wish I had spent more time at work and less time with my children."

Childhood is finite, don't waste theirs wishing it away. Once it's gone, you can never get it back, and then you have the rest of your life for regrets.

"It's called the Craft of the Wise, not the Craft of the Nice." Brock.

I heard a story from a friend, made me mad, started me thinking, and I had a Budapest moment.

Some days you wouldn't think we were living in the 21st century. For all the advances that society has made, there are still areas that are positively medieval, and we might as well still be living in the dark ages when men thought women weren't just second class citizens, they were chattel there to do whatever a man wanted whenever he wanted. Think that's not true? Well it is, there are still too many men who think they are better appointed with what women want and need than the women themselves do. That includes men who rape women.

Too many men still think women don't have a right to exert control over their own bodies and what happens to them, and that they have a right to do whatever they want to whoever they want. They believe it is their right to rape a women if she doesn't consent to have sex with them whenever and however they demand it, and that it is her fault and she is the one who should feel guilty.

Whether or not force is used, whether or not the woman knows her attacker, if she is forced, coerced or intimidated into something she doesn't want to do, then it's rape. Women feel guilty, as if it's their fault, they did something wrong and brought it on themselves. No they didn't.

The guilty party is the man, plain and simple. He is the one that did something wrong, he's the one that took away the woman's right to control over her own body, he's the one that violated her. And chances are if he does it once, he'll do it again and he's probably done it before.

There's a myth out there about the stranger waiting in the bushes, but you know, most rapes are committed by people known to their victim. Doesn't matter if they're a date or an acquaintance or a boss or a neighbour, it's still rape. All our lives as women we're told to be careful what we wear, where we go, what we do and who we talk to. The implication being that it's our fault if we get raped, men are somehow unable to help themselves or to resist temptation. Please! Are men so unevolved that they can't contain themselves? I don't think so.

There are plenty of men out there who would never dream of violating a woman in that way - the ones who do are simply using excuses to cover over and avoid their own guilt at doing something that is fundamentally wrong - or, they have a psychological issue because they really believe that they are superior and know better than a woman what she wants or that she is only there to satisfy their every desire for power, control and domination. Doesn't help that society still thinks a man is manly for sleeping with many women, while a woman who does the same is slutty. Society needs some serious attitude adjustments.

Women should never feel guilty for being raped, it was not their fault. It was an act of violence committed against them, without their consent, period. Women have a right to say no, to anyone, at any time. Men actually ARE capable of control, those who rape just like to pretend they aren't because then they don't have to take responsibility for what they're doing. Doesn't matter who she is, every woman has the right to refuse sexual acts, period.

Well you know what, those of you who think it's ok to force someone to have sex with you? Get real, get responsible and get a life. We aren't going to let you get away with it anymore. We, as women, are not responsible for the acts of violence committed against us by men, no matter who they are. And make no mistake, rape is an act of violence, power and control that is enacted through sex. It's about time us girls got together and used whatever means we happen to have at our disposal to deal with you.

And btw anyone who rapes a friend of mine better hope like hell I don't get hold of them, no matter who they are. I will use every means at my disposal to make you face up to the consequences of your actions. And I mean EVERY. She did nothing wrong, you are a repeat offender. Yeah I hear things from many sources. May karmic consequence bite your ass - and I might just help it along. Cupcakism is not for witches.

Abortion

“I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.”
Rebecca West

Abortion is always a contentious issue - everyone has an opinion - even when they say they don't. In some places, like America, it's an even more heated debate, and one for which each of us should reach our own personal decision. It is also one on which many people, myself included, are very passionate.

Bottom line is that while I, personally, could (probably) never have an abortion because it goes against my personal beliefs, I will always be pro choice because I believe that the right to a legal, medical abortion is a necessity in any civilized society that gives half a damn about the health, mental and physical, of women and children.
Banning abortion does not stop people from wanting terminations, it simply sends them to back street abortionists and underground clinics where they don't get the care or treatment they need. Banning abortion simply results in an increase in unnecessary deaths and injuries from illegal abortions and an increase in unwanted pregnancies and abandoned babies. It also has a negative effect on prenatal health, infant mortality, and maternal health - and on the physical and emotional health of the unwilling mothers who feel coerced into having a child they cannot cope with or do not want.

Pregnancy and childbirth is the leading cause of death, worldwide, for young women, so why add to that number by denying them access to safe, clinical, medical terminations?

Thanks to certain factions it's immensely complicated in America as it varies by state. And freedom of speech means that we have to allow people to give voice to their opinion even when we disagree with them - I may completely disagree with your point of view but I will defend your right to say it - even when it sucks! Which also means I have a right to say that I think legal abortion is a necessary thing. Deal.

Free speech against abortion - ok
Protesting against those who perform or permit abortion - ok
Lying to vulnerable women to persuade them to carry a pregnancy to term - not ok
Killing doctors who perform medically safe abortions - not ok
Bombing clinics and/or harassing staff - not ok

The specifics that got me so irritated the last few days? How is it fair or just or moral to tell someone who was raped, or the victim of incest, that they cannot terminate? How can forcing them to carry their pregnancy to term somehow "empower them" and help them recover from the trauma that they have been through? Especially when that person was raped by their stepfather - someone they should have been able to trust? And especially when that victim is only ten years old? HOW can forcing a child to carry a baby to term ever be considered "The right thing to do" ?

http://www.feministing.com/archives/020866.html

Whatever happens as a result of the alleged incest and rape charges against her stepfather, the girl is past the point at which she is permitted a legal abortion anyway. She has to carry to term - gods willing, and may the Goddess protect her - she needs it. She is TEN for crying out loud. No ten year old should be becoming a mother for any reason, least of all this one. And it's not as if she's an isolated victim. It happens all too often across the world.

I don't promise coherence, but I stand by what I believe, and I believe that for many different reasons, legal, medical abortion should be an option. For ten year olds who shouldn't be pregnant in the first place by whatever means, for rape victims, for those who consider it their best, or only, option, for teenage girls who made a mistake.

Domestic violence

So recently it was International Women's Day, and in light of that I have a question for all Calgarians. Ok, for everyone out there, but specifically for Calgarians.

How many abused women and victims of domestic violence did you speak to on that day? Now how many of you answered "None." ? Chances are you did talk to at least one, you just didn't know it. Domestic violence is one of the most silent epidemics in the province.
While not all victims of domestic violence are women, the vast majority are and they could be anyone. It could happen to your sister, your neighbour, the girl you work with or that quiet woman you saw on the bus. It is no respecter of race, class, colour, creed or income.

Alberta has the highest provincial rate of domestic violence in Canada. According to the Alberta Council of Women's Shelters, last fiscal year they took on 6,156 women and 5,285 children to their 42 shelters - women and children who were in imminent danger of further assault or even homicide. They also had to turn away another 10,364 women and 6,747 children for a lack of space and/or funding.

Because of the silence that surrounds domestic violence and the fear of it's victims, few realize that there is even a problem until desperation drives a woman to seek help from somewhere such as the ACWS. Last fiscal year they fielded 35,000 calls to their crisis lines. The silence of those around who pretend not to see or don't want to see is the abuser's biggest safety net. It's long past time we ended that silence and held them accountable.

How many victims of domestic violence did I speak to on that day? On that one day I spoke to my step sister, a survivor of domestic abuse, and to my best friend, another survivor. If she were still alive I would have spoken to my mother since she was another victim, one who the laws where she lived could not protect. Online I spoke to more who are survivors. It's happened to my family, to people I know, chances are it has happened and is happening now, to people you know too.

So, let me ask you again - On International Women's Day, on any particular day, how many victims of Domestic Violence did you speak to? Probably more than you think. Time to break the silence.

People......

So in what seems to be a run of 'issues' in America, the mayor of Chicago is so concerned about the crime rate in his city that he is asking why he can't have the National guard, who have been fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan and effectively restoring law and order there, come and help out his police force in their home state. Good question.

And in an issue that spans country borders, in America a man who was wounded defending a woman from an assailant dies from his wounds as passers by ignore - or worse - watch him.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36788569/ns/us_news-life/

While in Canada a man is stabbed and nobody helps him.
http://www.torontosun.com/news/torontoandgta/2010/04/24/13708516.html

Some things are apparently the same no matter where you are, says me, who lives right in the sector of the city where last week three men in a car assaulted and robbed a pedestrian at knife point, and then assaulted and robbed, or attempted to rob more pedestrians including 10 and 12 year old children. Fortunately no-one was hurt and police apprehended three suspects in a car that was found to contain a knife. Still, the world definitely isn't becoming a better place to live right now.

Women's rights, human rights.

So I wrote about this once before http://purplerahk.blogspot.com/2007/11/zip-code-of-death.html but it seems that things aren't changing nearly enough - parts of Memphis, TN, still have one of the highest infant mortality rates going.

http://blackgirlthinking.wordpress.com/2010/03/02/memphis-tn-highest-infant-mortality-rate-in-the-nation/

Then again, when you consider this
http://womensrights.change.org/blog/view/black_women_three_times_more_likely_to_die_in_childbirth
it shouldn't be that surprising. And no it's not because, as one commentator said, they live in third world undeveloped countries - we're talking women in America. There shouldn't be such a disparity based on where you live or what colour your skin is. In this day and age we should be doing anything and everything we can to reduce the rate of infant mortality or death in childbirth in every country - especially those in the so called civilized western world.

So currently worldwide maternal and child health is under discussion at the G8 talks in Halifax.
http://www.metronews.ca/calgary/canada/article/512765--maternal-child-health-in-poor-countries-leads-g8-talks-in-halifax
Whatever the answer is, something definitely needs to be done to secure the health of mothers and infants worldwide.
http://www.vancouversun.com/gives+thumbs+Harper+maternal+health+project/2962545/story.html
You know what though? Talking and agreeing is wonderful - what would be even better - stop talking and start doing. Seriously, we all know there's a problem, and now you all agreed you need to do something about it - so enough with reports and talking, let's start doing. Any improvement would be a good thing.

One statistic that stuck in my mind is that pregnancy and birth related problems are the leading cause of death among girls 15-19 - worldwide. Not least because so many girls across the world are forced, coerced, persuaded or drawn into marriage, and therefore inevitably childbearing, at very young ages for a variety of reasons.

Which leads to this
http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/preteen-girl-wins-divorce-from-80-year-old-husband/
and she's one of the lucky ones. She found a way out. Many others aren't nearly so lucky.

http://womensrights.change.org/blog/view/top_ten_ways_to_make_a_difference

"When we are free, we speak the unspeakable and think the unthinkable." Starhawk - Truth or Dare.

Arizona - immigration

So Arizona has a new immigration law - not going to get started in the immigration debate just watching the knock effect from it. Right or wrong, the law has already had an effect above and beyond sparking debate nationwide on the topic of immigration.

Mexico has issued a travel advisory, advising its citizens against travelling to Arizona - how's that for ironic??

Many Mexican parents - legal and illegal - have been trying to push through the paperwork that will give their US born, legally American citizen, children dual American-Mexican citizenship so that if they, or family members, or siblings, are deported then the whole family can return to Mexico - and the LEGAL AMERICAN BORN members of the family can live there too so that the family doesn't end up separated and living in different countries.

And I thought the law wasn't actually in effect/being used yet but apparently it is...
http://guanabee.com/2010/04/american-truck-driver-illegal-alien-arizona-sb1070/
shame the first publicized test of it was on an American born citizen.

Talking of fallout, some speaks for itself.
http://iowaindependent.com/32926/install-microchips-in-illegal-immigrants-gop-candidate-says

Afghan schoolgirls

http://english.aljazeera.net/news/asia/2010/04/201042663711279658.html

No, I don't know for sure what happened but why wouldn't it surprise me if certain people were trying to stop girls getting an education, to stop women from climbing out from beneath their male 'protectors' and claiming something resembling equality? IF, and it's a big if, though it's not the first instance of poisoning happening to girls in school in Afghanistan, that is what happening then it seems to me that someone (using the term loosely) is running scared, afraid of the idea of women gaining control of their own lives and destinies. Seems like IF it is the case them someone is tying to keep women in their place.

"Attacks on girls schools have increased in the past year, particularly in the east and south of the country. Last year a group of schoolgirls in Kandahar had acid thrown in their faces by men who objected to them attending school. "
http://www.welt.de/english-news/article3717796/Afghan-girls-poisoned-at-school.html


http://www.rferl.org/content/Illnesses_At_Afghan_Girls_Schools_Prompt_Poisoning_Fears/2024984.html

This was a year ago.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE54A1IR20090512

given what they go through to go to school, and that as recently as 2001 it was forbidden, one has to wonder. And, those of us who took going to school and getting an education as an often dull and annoying right, have to consider ourselves lucky to have been able to do so and be bored with it.

This is the same climate that allowed this to happen
http://purplerahk.blogspot.com/2007/11/english-can-get-you-killed.html
and in all cases, no-one was doing anything other than trying to get an education and improve the lives of themselves, their families and those around them. Something most of us would consider a worthy goal.

Earthquakes

I cannot be the only person keeping an eye on the number of earthquakes that have already taken place this year - in fact I know I'm not since when it has come up among friends they too admit to having noticed even if they paid no more than passing attention to it.

However for those who like to keep track of such things, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_earthquakes , although be warned it is not a complete list - just a very good one.

And there's a reason for adding this brief post that will eventually become clear, should anyone care.

Me

Now there's a reason for my ongoing comments about sisters but first I should point out that to begin with there'll probably be a lot of postings as I catch up with posting stuff that has been sat around waiting to be posted. Eventually I'll run out and things will slow to an inconsistent trickle - much to the relief of anyone who accidentally falls into here since I don't expect anyone to notice that this is even up and running again. But it was a necessary thing.

So, sisters is part of a theme that has been playing through my head and running into my life with increasing frequency over the last few months, namely that of women's issues for want of a better phrase right now. I've always been what people would probably call a feminist, amongst other things. It's just a part of who and what I am in the same way that being a witch is - and yes, if you just joined us I'm a witch and a Pagan and quite happily so thank you. Have been for something like 17 years now give or take - kinda scary when I think about that, almost makes me feel old. Mind you, if I think about the fact that my eldest daughter turns 19 tomorrow then I really feel old lol

Anyway, I'm a feminist, I'm a witch, and a few other things too, none of them are something I do, they're just part of who i am.

As Matrinka once said (in words that probably haunt her since i use them a lot) "I'm a witch and a medicine woman, It's not something I do, it's just a part of who and what I am."

A long time ago, back when I almost ended up in politics (and that's a whole other story and a whole other lifetime ago) I was pretty outspoken about what I thought was right, and wrong, Then I got jaded and burnt by trying to change a flawed, and patriarchal - really patriarchal and conservative back where i used to live in that other lifetime - and life changed vastly and got very busy in the way that happens when you have a small child. So many things took a backseat, not because i no longer cared, simply because I had neither the time nor the energy to devote to them.

Then about a year ago now, things started coming to my notice, articles, news reports, books, people.... that rekindled the spark that had been sleeping and in the way of these things synchronicities started occurring ever more frequently until finally i got the message - time to poke your head back out again. Sometimes My Lady can be persistent when She wants me to pay attention. Will anyone listen tome? Does anyone care? Who knows, all I know is that I will do and say what I consider I need to, or what needs to be said, and whatever happens as a result of that, happens.

I've always been that way though. I'm pretty easy going, but every so often someone or something crosses that proverbial invisible line in the sand and brings out the bear in me. Happened many, many years ago with some people from Courage, and lend to doing things that I never thought I'd do, and having unexpected people come up and say they were glad I'd said what I'd said. (Back to the politics story) It's happened many times over the years, and as far as I'm concerned each time it was something that needed doing or saying, and if no one else would do or say then I was going. Each time if it made a difference somewhere, somehow, to one person that made it worth doing. Either way, sometimes things just need to be said and done even if people in general don't want to hear them.

So, to get kind of back on point, sisters, are a recurring theme lately, not just real sisters - blood or choice - but because at the most basic level, all women are sisters. What affects one of us affects all of us. See? Back to the feminism thing lol

Sisters

1. a female offspring having both parents in common with another offspring; female sibling.
2. Also called half sister. a female offspring having only one parent in common with another offspring.
3. stepsister.
4. a female friend or protector regarded as a sister.

The first four definitions of sister from dictionary.com

Also, –adjective 12. being or considered a sister; related by or as if by sisterhood: sister ships.

Those you consider sister, whether by blood, marriage, accident or simple act of life...

Real sisters, like real family, aren't born, they grow to be by word and deed - they are more than simply a product of blood they are a product of life. And that means, that though I was born a third generation only child, I consider myself blessed by the sisters in my life.

Two years later....

So one of the perils of not blogging for over two years is that you get out of practice, both at writing and at making time to write. Another is, if you're anything like me, you forget your password for logging into you blogger account - especially is technically your computer is smarter than you are and is supposed to remember it for you so you never had to remember it in the first place!

Mind you, it's not as if not posting a blog of any kind means I haven't written anything - sheesh I have a drawer full of notebooks full of everything from essays and opinion pieces to notes, family trees and those dark moments of angst filled emotion we all suffer from time to time to prove it.

Now if I could just wave a magic a wand and get all the ones I want to copy from there to magically appear in typed format on my computer I'd be laughing.
Technically i can write straight on computer, or should that be type straight on computer? But firstly i rarely have enough computer time that I can use for that when I'm not at risk of being interrupted mid sentence every sentence or of disturbing other people who are trying to watch TV or something and would be bothered by the continual typing. So it hasn't happened yet, and, I'm old fashioned, give me open and some paper and the urge to get thoughts onto paper and I can suddenly discover that I just filled a dozen pages without even realizing it!

don't worry I'm not going to bother you with the terrible angst of those occasional dark times, the ones we all go through every now and then. Those I write down because for me it's therapeutic, a way to clear all the junk from the hard drive of my brain if you will, because for me, once it bothers me enough to get it out and down on paper, the very act of doing that is generally enough for me to be able to let go of whatever was bothering me at the time, deal with it, and move on feeling far more peaceful and balanced once again. Then the written pages generally get shredded and trashed having fulfilled their purpose.
And I like being peaceful and balanced.

We do, however, all go through those dark times, mentally and emotionally. It's a part of the roller coaster that is life. Often they are actually a necessary part of it even if at times they drive us to despair and leave us dubious about our sanity. sometimes we later have the time and perspective to look back on the darkness we realize that it was necessary, a turning point or a growth point and that we are actually better, stronger and more balanced for having been through that darkness. Still sucks when you are in the middle of the dark times however.

Sometimes each of us has to hit the bottom in the darkness before we can begin to see the light and climb our way back up again to another new height. Life is rarely even, easy or fair, it just is what it is, and we try to deal with it as best we can, some days we do better some days we don't - we are each only human after all. what matters is not the things that happen to us in life but how we react to and deal with them and how much we keep on going, keep trying, keep doing, and don't give up, even when it's dark. Sometimes we need a helping hand to find the light and begin the climb out of the darkness and that's what friends and true family are for.

Which is kind of where I was going, I just took the long way around, because this is not going to be about those occasional dark times - well, mostly not anyway! As I said, my notebooks contain thoughts on a number of topics, tags really are going to be a wonderful invention although my choice of tag might not always seem obvious to you - the connections in my brain are sometimes a little obscure to some people. They will however hopefully keep roughly related topics connected to each other.

What started me once again thinking about blogging and led to the earlier comments about the dark times was a conversation last night. Anyway.

In the intervening couple of years many things have changed and many haven't. Demonspawn is now just turned four, Demon is still going strong after his heart attack two years ago, and winter here in Calgary is finally coming to an end. Other than that life here pretty much carries as usual in that day to day way life has of doing so.

Some things have changed and one of those is that thanks to facebook I have reconnected with several people that I hadn't spoken to in years. One of them in particular, my other sister. Let me start by explaining that I am an only child but I also believe that 'True family is not only one of blood but one of joy and respect in each others lives.' And in that respect I consider myself blessed to have two that I can call sister - Nuttie, the BC dwelling, sister in law I inherited when I got into a relationship with her brother, Demon, five years ago today.

And Crazy girl, the UK dwelling step sister I lost touch with for more than ten years and rediscovered thanks to the wonders that are facebook (when facebook is not being an ass that is) Technically we aren't related but we share a step father - who said families were easy to understand or explain? lol She is, however, my sister - my crazy witchy fairy queen sister.

And I count myself lucky to have two who i would call sister.

"True sisters measure time not by clock or calendar but by the beat of the heart."

And btw in case you forgot or are new here - my typing sucks. I can spell, but even after all these years I cannot type accurately - fast yes - accurate no!!