Community

There is a Mexican proverb than in essence says that a house is not built upon the ground but rather upon the woman at its heart.

We are women, we are mother, daughters, sisters, we are the givers of life.

Without us, a house is just a house. We are the heart that beats within, we are the soul that brings a place to life and enables it to grow into a home.

Without us there is less colour, less life, less soul, less vibrancy and less love. We are the ones that turn it into a home, whether it is a mansion, a small apartment, a trailer, a car, a cardboard box or a doorway. We are the ones who care, nurture, tend, love and protect our homes and those within them. It's what we must do.

It is also what we must do for our communities. We are just as much the heart of our community. We need to bring that life, love and nurturing to not only our homes but also to our wider community.

We must join together to breathe life into the community within which we live.  We must take it, shape it and nurture it, make it our own and help to create a strong, vibrant, living community for who live within it.

It is time to call on the memories of women of old, our mothers, and grandmothers, throughout time who did exactly that without even thinking about it. Community was a way of life for them, not something to work at or think about, simply something they did, every day. They were the beating heart not only of their families but also of their wider community.

It is time to assume the mantle that they bequeathed to us that was forgotten by progress and the advancement of civilization,  for if there was ever a time the world needed us to create community, that time may well be now.

Neighbours no longer know neighbours, families are scattered across the county and across the world. Community once had meaning, when joys, and tragedies, felt by one were felt and shared by all.

In many ways progress is a good thing, occasionally though there is a need to step back and recreate something from the past, in our own way, for our own time, and make it new and relevant again. It is time now to make community mean something again, not some vague ideal, rather a living breathing reality for the benefit of all who live there.

RAOK and my life in the 'hood

So I went shopping today - made myself broke but that's nothing new lol Did pick up a #Flames hockey shirt AND jacket for Spawn in Value Village for a total of $13 so that was a score! And a book for me - I'll ignore the evangelical and biblical parts of it - pretty sure I can still find something useful in it - Everybody wants to make a difference - practical ways to change the world.

Kinda fits in with my state of mind lately. The same state that asked advice from @careyfuller and now wants to strike up a conversation with the napping homeless couple and "just ask them what they need apart from housing" - asked her for advice on what an 'average Joe' can do for the homeless in their own 'hood.... Makes sense to me.

Last week when I made cupcakes I left a plate of them for the roofers - even though they were freaking out my dog - he has issues due to his life before he went to Oopsy Dazy Foundation - and today when I picked up the last books for Spawn's set I grabbed a second (almost( complete) set. Took that to school and gave it to his kindergarten teacher for her class - as I said to her, I wasn't sure if I was violating some etiquette or protocol but I wondered if she would like them for her class. She said yes please and thank you so.... Well, everyone is always saying how bad #CBE cuts are, and it makes little difference to me. And they ARE cool books for kindergartners lol

What can I say? It's just the way I roll - my own special brand of insanity :p

Halloween - Jesusween?

Jesusween? Seriously? Am I the only one who has trouble taking that seriously as a name?
Yep, it's silly season again when all kinds of opinions come flying out of the woodwork - yes I am aware that includes my own! Some though are definitely saner and more intelligent than others, no matter how heartfelt. Happens every year at this time. (Wonder if King Kev will make his presence felt again? Hmmm)

Whoever or whatever doesn't actually detract from what is one of the most fun filled nights of the year for many, especially kids young and old. Nor from what is for many people, myself included, one of the most important ritual/religious nights of the year.

If you want to hand out bibles instead of candy or treats then go ahead - but I'm pretty sure that means I can hand you a pentacle or a Wicca 101 book in return. Or even, as @ashareem suggested a Koran. After all it never hurts to learn about and understand another religion, right? (Why yes I have read and studied the bible over the years)

One commenter after the original story said that s/he would text a prayer for each trick or treater (not sure why text but that's besides the point), then I should be able to offer up an invocation for him/her in return, right? Fair's fair since we have freedom of speech and religion after all. You believe in your god and I believe in my gods. Or as facebook recently put it, "Sure you can offer up a prayer for me, and I'll dance naked in the woods for you." Each to their own ;)

Pretty damn sure though that you, whoever you may think you are, have no claim on my son's soul to a religion that neither his father nor I follow and FWIW I wouldn't want to be the one handing a bible to our son if he's trick or treating with his father. Just saying.

Yup, silly season is here, Halloween is coming. I thought twice about blogging over Jesusween but in the end..... I just couldn't resist. Let the countdown continue, and don't let anyone spoil the fun you want to have. Stay safe and don't let the ghosts and goblins bite!

Livininthehood #4 #warongardens

As is usual I find myself wondering many odd things in the course of the day. @JeninCanada wondered how much trouble she'd get into if she turned her front yard into a vegetable garden instead of leaving it as grass. It's a question I've wondered too - not that I have a yard right now, front or back since we live in a rental complex that has shared green space - yet it's something I've wondered in the hypothetical.

Why IS it such a crime to take time and resource consuming lawn and turn it into something more useful, less wasteful and often more visually appealing? Everyone bombards us with instructions to eat better, get healthier, lose weight, feed our kids more fruits and vegetables, avoid pesticides, etc. Government is always telling us that north America is suffering a plague of obesity and poor health.

Then doesn't it make sense to allow people greater access to fresh produce instead of restricting it? To allow people to grow fresh fruits and vegetables in their own yards and to increase the number and availability of community gardens. Especially in less well off neighbourhoods where people often have least access to affordable healthy foods.

I know it's a pet peeve of mine that there isn't a community garden within walking distance of here, and I do still believe that our 'Hood is one that could seriously benefit from having its own community garden if we could find a space for it.

Seems to me that the so called war on garden ( #warongardens) has a lot more to do with power, control and conformity than it has to do with vegetables. Maybe my sense of logic is just skewed, but wouldn't we all be better off if there were more vegetable gardens and less lawn? Like a re-designing of the Victory Garden campaign? Wouldn't we all be better off, and healthier, if more people were allowed to plant up gardens and eat and share their produce? One neighbour has too many tomatoes, so swaps them with another who has a surplus of onions, say. What is wrong with that? OTHER than taking control out of the hands of government and putting it back into the hands of the people? (The people who government is supposed to be working for, FYI.)

Instead apparently there is a war on gardens in many places just now, we won't even mention the chickens ;) Is it any wonder that Guerilla Gardening is taking off in more and more places? There shouldn't be a need for it but there is - as the saying goes, it is often easier to get forgiveness afterwards than to request permission beforehand.

Meanwhile the powers that be continue to tell us to be healthier, while at the same time denying us the opportunity to do it for ourselves. As long as it is about power and control instead of about people and food, there will continue to be a need for guerilla gardeners and for those who dare defy convention and turn their lawn into vegetables. Just a thought.

Livin' in the 'Hood 1

School year is under way and that means spending more time hanging around outside school, waiting to go in or waiting for ids to come out, and THAT means more time hanging around with or listening to my neighbours and all the other mums at the school doors. Never underestimate what you can learn at the school door if you pay attention.
I may not know all of them, by a long way, but they're all my neighbours in that we all live in the same "Hood - that's why our kids go to that school. In fact we live in half the 'Hood since that's one of two elementary schools that serve the area.
People have laughed at me for saying I live in the "Hood unfortunately it often feels like it's true. More than that, it often feels like here in Calgary when you say "I live in the "Hood," the next question off the listeners lips is "Which one?"

As "Hoods go ours isn't too bad, in some ways. In others.... Demographics are interesting - we have a higher than average immigrant population, more visible minorities, higher ESL and more poverty than many areas. We also have a high percentage of rental properties and therefore a correspondingly high turnover of residents as people move in and out. Pretty sure I've mentioned that before. We do NOT have a higher than average crime rate even though there is a perception that we do - as has often been said the fear of crime often outweighs the reality.

Yet it often feels as though we are one of the forgotten neighbourhoods, that we're too difficult? too transient? to new and fresh? to be worth bothering with. Pretty sure I've said that before. We do have our share of homeless, drunks, panhandlers and wannabe gangsters who hang around the strip malls in groups trying to intimidate anyone and everyone who walks past.

Oddly we had three people killed by the C-train here in the space of ten days recently - two a block north from me and one a block south. And we did have a guy shot to death last year in the next door bar - rumour has it that it was a hit.
We do have our resident drug addicts and dealers and boosters - someone should tell them that conversations in the parking lot carry around here dude.

We have, just in our apartment complex, more than one guy who did/does beat his wife, (RCMP came to see him) one who beats his dog, (humane society came to see him), a teenager who is under investigation for stalking a 15 yr old girl, and two teenagers (as yet unidentified) who thought that they could make sexual and inappropriate comments to 9 and 11 yr old girls.

Yet these are all the things that neither officialdom nor the media seem to notice or care about. It's like, what do we expect when that's where we live? Yet many of us have been here for a long time. This is our home, for whatever reason. Yes a lot of us might move elsewhere if we had the option but for many of us there is little or no choice right now due to the circumstances of life.

Why ever we are here, this is our home, this is our 'Hood and we are raising our children here. They, and we, deserve the best "Hood that we can have/create. Not one where we're intimidated when walking down the street or worried about being mugged if we're out alone. Maybe it's time for us to take back our streets and our "Hood and make it our own again.

Kindergarten catch up

Yes I'm trying to play catch up!!

Kindergarten Pt1

So what else is new? Spent a week camping in our new (new to us anyway) trailer on the in-laws' acreage in BC - with awesome weather. Had a great, relaxing time - just wish I wasn't so damn tired since we got back! Yet again it's 8.45 and I could easily go to bed and sleep. Sadly that isn't happening, the guys are out partying and won't be home til late, or sober.

Neighbours are moving out in droves, and certain neighbours have as much drama as ever in their lives - I've said before - it's not that I don't like the woman but dayum she can be hard work.

School starts day after tomorrow - first day at kindergarten for someone around here!! And anyone who thinks that means more time to myself is wrong - by the time I drop him off and walk home it'll be an hour or so until it's time to leave to walk down and pick him up again lol And in between will still be dogs, dishes, laundry, supper, lunch, etc! Need more hours in the day.


Kindergarten Pt2

School's in and Spawn has had his first few half days, full day kindergarten is about to begin. Can you say tired child? lol He thinks Mrs S walks on water, like most 5 yr old boy she has a crush on his kindergarten teacher ;) And yep there is the usual rush of notes, newsletters and forms, alongside requests for money and extra stuff. $65 for fees and supplies and $295 for lunch time supervision - not a meal just supervision - if they're staying for lunch all year. In other words $29.50 per month.

Next on my list is a second pair of shoes for him to keep at school and wear there, indoor shoes. Did kindergarten orientation part 2 - basically a repeat of the one in June with a few added/altered details. Pretty sure less people turned up for part 2 than did for part 1 mind you. And of course the usual requests for volunteers and for people to attend parent council meetings. There will be fundraising, there will be selling of SU ticket packs, all the usual good stuff.

42 kids in his kindergarten - split into 2 classes. Apparently the CBE allocates enough money that each kid can go on at least one field trip per year, parent council tries to raise enough money to make it more than one, and to provide special lunches, events, etc. Apparently I'm being drawn into going to the parent council meeting next week - we'll see how that works out! I'd like to. We all know that budgets everywhere, not just in the CBE, are being cut back at the same time as the cost of everything is rising. Seems like once upon a time fundraising was more for the extras and the frills, these days it's an essential part of school. And everywhere else.


Kindergarten Pt3

So, we just finished the first two full days of kindergarten, and yep, it kicked his ass AND he has a cold. Surprise! Beginning of school has always been a prime time to share every cold and bug out there lol There are still a few tears - his, not mine - sometimes but on the whole he's says it's "Great!" and he does "Everything!". Even if he was less impressed at having the story of 'Who ate all the cookie dough?' AGAIN the other day lol (Answer btw is baby kangaroo did)

Kindergarten also means spending a lot of time hanging around outside the school doors waiting, and talking to other mums, and in some cases getting to know people who have been neighbours for a long time a lot better. Amazing what you can learn in a week about your 'Hood, but, that's a whole other blog post.

Places - and this week so far

Been a busy few days round here even though Demon has been home sick for the last two days, finally feeling a little better and back at work today. Of course they were the two best days of the summer so far, so Spawn and I went to the zoo Tuesday and the Water Park Wednesday. Blew the kids mind since that was the first trip to the water park this year - he was liiiiittle tired by the time we got home lol Tired, stiff (me not him), sun kissed, and feeling good!

Monday we hit the library and after digging around in the interesting way they file their witch books, finally scored half a dozen to bring home. Cakes and Ale for the Pagan Soul has made my bookshelf list - not my top ten want but my bookshelf list - alongside Pagan Paths, Wisdom of the Elders. (And a new copy of the Goddess is in the Details since mine is probably never coming home.) Note to self to only lend to neighbours, them, I can go get my books back from!

Cakes and Ale also provided one, maybe more, of several signs in answer to a question I asked my Goddess the night before. Apparently the Ladies, and once again after my on off relationship with Her, we are back to Ladies multiple, are adamant that I really do need to try setting up a women's Circle round here. A clue as to How/Where to start would be nice lol Guess I better figure it out since it's non negotiable...

It seems to be the week for Clue by 4's - or maybe just for realizing that which should have been blatantly obvious. Talking to @Mariadkins about Stonehenge reminded me - like I needed reminding since it's seared in my brain oh so many years later?! - that I've been there, walked and touched the stones. I've also been to number of other old and powerful places, and grew up surrounded by ancient monuments, stones and grave sites in addition to growing up in one of the wilder places in the UK. Not to mention being surrounded by myth, legend, folklore, ancient tradition aka superstition and ritual. Is it any wonder I'm the way I am?? Makes me wonder if that's why it always feels as though I have (much as I'm hesitant to use the word) an affinity for places, especially old ones.

I've said before that while you can take the girl out of the island you can never take island out of the girl, it's true and accurate. Places talk, places have feeling and personality, and history, if you listen to them, Even after all these years, not least the ones living in the middle of the Canadian Prairies, I can still hear/feel the whispering call of the island. It's not something that has ever gone away, nor something I would want to lose - it's not even as simple as a call to come home, there's no beckoning in it per se, more a simple "I'm still here, I'll always be here.' closer to a strength, energy, memory to draw on than anything else. Do I get it from the other island I lived on for just as many years? Nope. No ifs ands or buts, I just don't. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing!

More than that, perhaps because we walk pretty much everywhere, I hear whispers from other places, always have done. Everywhere has it's own voice, its own spirit, and some are certainly happier, healthier and younger/older than others. No surprise that Christopher Penczak's City Magick is one of my favourite additions to my bookshelf in the last couple of years. Come to that I've read several of his works and have a definitely liking for @Penczak. His thoughts, words, work, resonate with me in a way similar to those of @starhawk17 and @zbudapest. Just three of the people who have been an influence on my path and life in recent years.

BetterYYC, Starhawk, and.... Stuff

To create a #betteryyc we need to engage the next generation, the children. Not just with special one off events - although those are good too - but also on a daily basis, both singly and in groups. Always remembering that they learn by example, by copying what they see us doing and not by what we say if our actions don't match our words. In order to encourage them to help create a #betteryyc we need to let them see us working towards the same goal, no matter on how large or small a scale.

Alone I cannot change the world but I can cast out a stone that will create ripples. (Or something like that!)

@BetterYYC - Do one thing today towards creating a #betteryyc

Reading an anthology recently - Storming Heaven's Gate - I ran into a piece called "Street Trees" by Melody Ermachild Chavis, taken from her book Altars of the Streets. In it, she too talks about involving the children in hopes that they will grow up with a sense of community, of belonging, of being a part of something worth being proud of and taking care of instead growing up apart from their home and community.

Btw insanely jealous of @JacqMulyk not only for attending the City Repair workshop in Portland, but also for meeting Starhawk there! Jealous, much lol. Pretty sure that I've mentioned before the influence that Starhawk's work has had on me, both in life and in my path. And I believe the site in Portland is also the one Starhawk talks about visiting in The Earth Path. Not that I would know what to say if I ever met the lady anyway, except possibly "I'm not worthy!" ;) Side note, no surprise either that Z Budapest ( @zbudapest ) has also been a considerable influence, as has Christopher Penczak ( @Penczak ) to mention a couple.

In the Earth Path it is pointed out that to create community requires a place to congregate. That, at least, we have in my immediate neighbourhood - in my pocket neighbourhood. Yeah I know I'm taken with that phrase, but it sums up our apartment complex perfectly-ish - a cluster of houses or apartments surrounding a central shared space. Not that we can do much with it, don't think the landlords would like it, but at least unlike the complex a block over we ARE allowed to play and congregate here. Not kidding, next complex over has large signs saying No playing, running, balls or games of any kind, please use the public parks provided elsewhere. (Paraphrased sine I forget the exact words - should take a photo lol) Let's see, public park? That would be the park that is now two fenced baseball pitches ;)(yeah I know, bee in my bonnet!)

Seems like every year's crop of children, some the same as previous years, some new faces, are drawn to0 me - probably because if my son is out there I have to be out there too. They know my name, they know we have sidewalk chalk, and bubbles, and whatever else we might have outside that day and we share. they come to me to fix their bikes, their scraped knees and their feuds. And it's good, even if there are some days I'm just not in the mood, in which case Spawn and I go off somewhere else - not because I quit believing in being there for them or in fostering community, just because I'm only human and sometimes I need a day off!

So speaking of a #betteryyc it seems that someone seeded the beds by our rental office with sunflowers - that's sure what they look like to me! And no, this time it wasn't me ;) Here's hoping they're allowed to grow and don't get weeded away - not likely given the incomplete job the guys round here do whether it's clearing snow, picking up litter, weeding or cutting grass. If they did a proper job, I wouldn't be picking up broken glass from the playground as many times as I have done over the years we have been living here. And yes, the playground in the middle of our green space IS part of their area. How do I know it wasn't glass that got broken their after their morning rounds? Because 9 times out of 10 it's alcoholic glass, and even here5,6 and 7 yr olds aren't drinking in the playground and leaving empty beer/cooler/vodka bottles behind. Pet peeve. But since I don't want my kid cutting himself on it, or anyone else's, I pick it up. Found a knife once too - in our playground - not a small one, a large kitchen knife! And people wonder why I say I live in the 'Hood?!

Community Spirit

Yet again I find myself thinking about the spirit of community in my neighbourhood, or rather the lack thereof. And about trying to create a #betteryyc, a better stronger, more vibrant and connected community.

Even the president of our local community association, in their most recent newsletter, called for volunteers to "build up the spirit in the community". So I'm not alone in feeling that there is something missing.

There are obstacles, this is a highly diverse neighbourhood, with almost half the population belonging to 'visible minorities' ( not sure pointing such things out helps create unity - aren't we all supposed to be Calgarians?) and almost as many have English as a Second Language, which can make communication less simple than it might be in some instances. At least one third of the properties here are rental properties, leading to a high immigrant population and one which is by nature transient and ever changing. Further, over one third of households here live at or below the officially designated poverty line. None of this makes it easy to instill a spirit of community in a population that changes as often as this one does or has as many difficulties with basic day to day life.

We also, as a neighbourhood, have our own issues. Like everywhere else we have our share of crime, both reported and recorded, and unreported. Yes it's highly likely that anything that isn't nailed down will be stolen, most often by people passing through the neighbourhood and being opportunistic as opposed to by people who actually live here. More importantly, there is a fear of crime that is out of proportion to the actual incidence of crime and that fear is an instant killer to community spirit.

Crime map

People look at their neighbours and expect the worst, focusing too much on the differences between us and not seeing all the ways in which we are the same. We all live here, this is our neighbourhood, and only we can make it our home. They fear the panhandlers and homeless - though I've yet to have a problem with any of our "regular" ones. They fear the teenagers and wannabe gangsters who hang around the strip mall and try to intimidate people passing by. They avoid those of different cultures, or races or religions, seeking comfort with their own and not realizing that this is actually lessening the sense of community spirit, community safety and cohesion, not increasing it.

I don't believe that any of our issues are untackleable, or any of our obstacles insurmountable. No one of us alone can change things by themselves, but I believe that together we can accomplish great things simply by each doing our own small part. As @Zarquil said on Twitter, it's not about creating a #perfectyyc, it's about creating a #betteryyc.

Community, and a #betteryyc, begins with each of us making that first small move. With getting out there, using our local stores and local spaces, meeting and greeting people and getting to know our neighbours. It starts with finding out what there is and what's happening in our neighbourhood, using it, taking care of it and enjoying it. It's about seeing what is missing, what might enhance it and boost community spirit, and then looking into ways of making those things happen.

I'm lucky that our apartment complex (yes, I rent) has a green space where the children (and there are many) can and do play, and some of the mothers gather there too. The children have little trouble getting along regardless of racial, language or cultural barriers, the adults have a slightly harder time of it. I'm actually a minority amongst those mothers, not because I'm a witch, pretty sure that's a given, rather because I'm white and English is my first, and best, language. (My french is a little rusty.) It's an interesting experience to feel like an outsider in your own neighbourhood. I'm seriously thinking it's well past time we had some sort of community event in our complex, be it a yard sale, a fund raiser, a pot luck/BBQ or even a scavenger hunt for the kids. I know they'd enjoy it.

I do firmly believe that any attempt to create community and make a #betteryyc must include and engage the children - they are the future, our future, the city's future, and it's well known that they learn best by example. Telling them to be community minded does no good at all if we fail to walk the walk ourselves.

I would love to see people using our local park but other than the playground it's fenced off in two ball pitches now, that are almost never, if ever, used. (I'd also like not to be picking up broken glass every time I visit the playground but that's a whole other gripe.) Personally I would love to see a community garden here if there were a space for one anywhere. That would be a win on so many levels it'd be a huge boot for the neighbourhood. (At least, as a side note, I just found out we have a Good Food Box centre here now, which I shall have to check out in the next day or two.)

This is our neighbourhood, let's each take one step each day towards taking it back and making it ours again, a place we want to live, work and play, and a place we can be happy to raise our children. One step at a time towards a #betteryyc.

As the saying goes - "Be the change you want to see in the world."

P. S. Makes me want to go out and ask people What do you like about our neighbourhood? What don't you like? What would you like to see brought in or taken away?Might just do that.....

RAOK, Christmas and Operation Magic

I've always been a big believer that a little more kindness, compassion and community would be a good thing for this world, not least here in the middle of big ole cowtown. Random Acts Of Kindness, RAOK, can only be a good thing, surely? Anything that brings a smile to someone's face or a moment of joy can only be a good thing, right? Even when the person doing the act receives no tangible reward for doing whatever they did, nor even any acknowledgement if they did it anonymously.

My problem, as ever, is being perpetually broke and so many of the suggested RAOK or those performed by other people are simply out of my reach no matter how much I would love to be able to do them. Now before you say it, I know there are a lot of suggestions out there for things you can do that don't cost anything, yet a number of those are things that I do anyway - smiling and talking to people, holding doors open, sharing cookies with the neighbours - you get the idea.

Luckily with Christmas coming it's a little easier to think outside the box. So since I believe that Christmas is a time for a little magic and love, kindness and compassion, Operation Magic has been born. Last year I carried a handful of signed sealed Christmas cards in my pocket and gave them to people we saw all year, such as the lady in the ice cream store, just because. This year I'm going to expand that to people all over, people in stores, neighbours, including ones I don't, or barely know, the flier guy, and some of the other people who I see all year around. Gonna leave candy canes in neighbour mailboxes, share cookies when I start seriously baking cookies for cookie season - ok I bake cookies all year but not in quantity since someone in this house is diabetic and not SUPPOSED to eat cookies - unfortunately he LIKES cookies lol So the only time I make large batches is Christmas, and why not share?

Christmas cards, cookies, candy canes, messages in the snow - a little experimenting showed a way to colour the snow in much the same way as in the summertime I and the local kids drew pictures all over our sidewalks - nothing exciting or expensive or important, but maybe it'll raise a smile here or there. And that's really what it's all about.

Also going to register a handful of books with Bookcrossing and release them around the area and deliver stuff to the local Salvation army, and anything else I can think of. Suggestions are always welcome.

I wish I could buy coffees and sandwiches or hand out gift cards or whatever, it's just beyond my means, so I'll do the best I can with what little I have to bring a little Christmas magic to my part of Rundle and Sunridge this year.

Merry Christmas Calgary. May there be plenty of RAOKs this year - all year long. Here's to a #BetterYYC #YYC #RAOK

Colour me crazy, as long as that colour is purple.